145 Funny Rock Puns And Jokes That Are Real Gems

Looking for the best rock puns and jokes? Well, look no further! These puns will have you laughing until you’re rock solid!

My neighbor is a geologist. So, naturally, I came up with the best list of rock puns and geologist jokes. Now, whenever I see him, I’m ready to make him laugh!

Here’s the best list of puns and jokes you’ll find! I know you’ll have a solid time. Au revoir!

Note: This post may contain affiliate links, which means if you buy from my link I might make a small commission. This does not affect the price you pay. See the full affiliate disclosure here.

Four brown smooth rocks stacked on top of each other with a blurry green background.

Table of Contents

Rock Puns

Here are funny rock puns!

You must remember to keep your coal.
Be patient with geologists. They all have their faults.
That geologist gave me the coal shoulder.
Geologists don’t wrinkle, they show lineation.
Geologists love music, but their playlists get boring. They’re only rock and roll.
You need to be boulder during the presentation.
My rock collection has so much sedimental value.
A geologists favorite restaurant is the Hard Rock Cafe.
They are gravelling at my feet.
I may be obsessed with rocks, but that’s my pre-rock-ative.
It’s a hard rock life!
I’m going to look for gems this weekend, and I may need your assistance-stones.
Geologists never lose their luster!
The geologist was found guilty in a quartz of law.
The new geology teacher hasn’t had it easy. He got off to a rocky start.
Geologists are really rock stars!
I lava you so much!
“Sedimentary, my dear Watstone.”
Geologists love to talc about science every day.
I think my career as a geologist is really on the rocks.
This book about rocks is a fascinating pebble-cation.
If your favorite band isn’t the Rolling Stones, then you’re not really a geologist.
It is true. You should never take life for granite.
A geologists’s favorite drink is anything on the rocks.
Geologists like to party allanite long!
Was that a hit ore miss?
You need to be boulder during your presentations.
It’s definitely crystal clear that these puns about rocks are very punny.
Geologists are so gneiss!
It takes a boulder person to read through this list of puns.
You’ve got to commit to geology, it’s all ore nothing.
When you kiss a geologist, you can feel the earthquake.
I liked carbon before it was coal.
Geology puns are great, they really draw pebble together.
Do geologists take nothing for granite?
That geologist gave me the coal shoulder.
I’m getting tired of getting called to school because the only rocks my son knows are punk, classic, and heavy metal.
Geologists have their faults.
He just igneous me whenever I try talking to him.
Todd’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned. Too bad Todd didn’t haven’t avalanche insurance.
Apparently, geologists don’t ever get a pit in their stomach.
Power to the pebble.
A geologists’s favorite fruit is the pome-granite.
Geologists date anything.
I love the beach. You could even say I was a pebble person.
They are gravelling at my feet.
I want to make an impact on the world. I do things for the crater good of humanity.
The quartz will probably find him guilty.
There’s no halfway with a geologist. It’s all ore nothing.
Of quartz it is!
I’ll never take you for granite.
I don’t want to chalk about it.
That rock was magma before it was cool, know what I mean?
Look who’s chalking!
Geologists get their rocks off.
So let’s start with a clean slate.
I love to enjoy some small chalk.
My dad dropped this gem during breakfast.
Geology rocks, but Geography is where it’s at.
If you’re going to claim to be the best stone mason, the least you could do is have some concrete proof.
Geologists dig Mother Earth.
I came across this gem earlier. Emerald.
Talking about rock puns slowly eroded what was once a good friendship.
Some of your jokes fluorite over my head.
Geologists do it on the rock.

Rock Jokes

Here are the best rock jokes!

[cboxarea id="cbox-IVEtmKHDExiTjpDi"]

Why did the quartz fin date rock guilty? They had concrete evidence.
Why did the rock and the stone break up? The trust in their relationship eroded.
Did you hear the one about the geologist? He took his wife for granite so she left him.
Why couldn’t the rock and stone keep dating without trust? It was the bedrock of their relationship.
How do geologists like to relax? In rocking chairs, of course!
What does the water in a geologist’s cup do? Evaporate.
Why wasn’t the rock specialist hungry? He lost his appetite.
Why did the geologist and his girlfriend break up? There was too much friction in their relationship.
What do hipsters think of carbon? They liked it before it was coal.
Did you heart about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium? He just couldn’t put it down.
What’s a geologist’s favorite time period? The Stone Age.
When they started dating, what did the rock say to the stone? We’re going rock steady.
What did a boy volcano say to a girl volcano? “Hey, do you want to be my lava?”
Why are geologists good at stand up comedy? They know really “dirty” jokes.
Did you hear about the drunk geologist? Hi finally hit rock bottom.
Why did the volcano do nothing with its free time instead of getting a job? He was an inactive volcano.
I read in Quartz Illustrated that geologists are really athletic!
Why did the rock shower every morning? He wanted to start with a clean slate.
Which rock group is made up of four men who can’t sing? Mount Rushmore.
Why isn’t it safe for a rock to marry a piece of paper? Because paper beats rock.
I have an obsessions with polishing minerals that’s crystal clear!
Why did the rock go to jail? The quartz found him guilty.
I had to leave the granite industry. It was counterproductive.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
Why was the geologist having a difficult time? He was in between a rock and a hard place.
What do you call the chemical bond in minerals? A gems bond.
You didn’t think these were good puns? Of quartz they were!
What did the stone say when he ended up at the bottom of the hill? That’s how I roll.
Why did the hipster like the rock? It was magma before it was cool.
What happens when you look up geology jokes? You know you’ve hit rock bottom!
How were the rock and the stones relationship at first? Solid.
I quit my job at the quarry. They took worker safety for granite.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure.
Why dod you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
Eating a rock is actually good for you. It’s full of minerals!
Why is it hard to be a diamond? Too much pressure.
What is a geologist’s favorite treat? Rock candy.
What do geologists do when they find an empty cup? Phyllite.
Where do you get bare minerals from? A strip mine.
Where do geologists study? At sedimentary school.
What do lazy rocks do? Sit around all day getting stoned.
How did the rock feel about going to jail? He was petrified.
The dumb geologist had a gold ore in his backyard. Poor man took it for granite.
What did one volcano say to the other volcano? Nice ash!
Did you hear about the rock dating the stone? It was not just a plutonic relationship.
What do you call small rocks? Mini-rals.
Mineral water can be non-carbonated. But it’s still water.
What do people love most about geologists? They are so down to earth.
Who is a geologist’s favorite band? The Rolling Stones.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake? A sham rock.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure.
Apparently some pet rocks are braver than others…I understand they’re a little boulder.
Whose underground shaft should we dig for minerals in? Mine.
Do you want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
How do you discipline your pet rock? You hit rock bottom.
Oh, you were looking for rock jokes? Let’s see what we can dig up.
My friend started a company that digs rocks and minerals. He’s just mining his own business.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap? Because it was on shale.
What kind of rock complains? A whin-estone.
Got a pet rock yesterday….I told him to roll over.
Why did the rock sleep all day? He was a bedrock.
What did the vampire say to the geologist? Albite.
Why can’t you purchase minerals by the gallon? They only come in quartz.
What did gold say to pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
Some people think a pet rock is worthless, but I think it has sedimental value.
Why don’t geologists argue? They’re too pelite.
Did you see the geologist towing a crate of rocks behind his car? He had a wide lode sign.
Want to hear a mountain joke? No, you won’t get over it.
Some of these jokes fluorite over my head.
I lost my pet rock in Morocco. Where did Morocco?
I know this gem of a procrastination joke. I’ll tell you later.
What do you call a gem 6 feet under the ground? My grandmother.
I loved my pet rock. Our friendship was solid.
How did the rock feel when he got covered in algae? He was lichen it.
Why shouldn’t you let a geology student drive your car? Because they get hammered and stoned.
Who is a geologist’s favorite actor? Chris Rock.
Your rock collection is so sedimental!
He’s obsessed with rocks and it’s his prerockative.
Eating rock is full of minerals.
The geologist got off to a rocky start.