300 Funny Fish Puns And Jokes You Are Fishing For ?

Looking for the ultimate list of fish puns and jokes? Look no further! These fish puns will have you spilling your guts.

Holy carp! These are the best flippin’ puns and jokes ever.

It doesn’t get any Betta than this! These 300 puns and jokes that are simply fintastic.

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Hold on to your tail. You’re in for a whale of a time!

A man's fingers are holding the fishing line with a small colorful fish that he just caught.

Table of Contents

Funny Fish Puns

I know you’ll flip over these funny fish puns!

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I love fish puns! You could say I’m hooked.
Well, it’s o-fish-ial.
I’ve haddock with these shenanigans!
Will you rise to the bait?
Just like the tunafish sandwich said, I’ve got a reeling we’re not in cans anymore.
Get trout of here.
Sure, but fishing for compliments is never becoming.
Tuna in next time for the funniest animal memes.
Oh, for heavens hake!
Have you heard from Nemo? Maybe you should drop him a line.
It looks like we’re piranha roll now!
Have you thought of a fish pun yet, or do you need some time to mullet over?
You don’t have to be a brain sturgeon to come up with a fish pun.
What a load of pollocks!
Hoping to avoid turtle disaster.
Create your own fish pun, don’t leave it to salmon else.
Can you do any betta than this?
Are you trying to gillt me into thinking of a better pun?
Fish you were here.
This is going to get a-trout-cious real quick!
This is neither the time, nor the plaice for this.
My dad was a fisherman, but he quit because his net income wasn’t enough.
Stop carping on, you’re giving me a haddock.
Fish better have my money!
Salmon, call a doctor!
Best fishes on your anniversary!
If you’re going for roe-manance, then you’ll want to consider the caviar.
That fish is so classy and so-fish-ticated.
Keepin’ it reel.
Call me a pacifishts, but I don’t believe in war.
Cod this be any punnier?
You are a pain in the bass.
I would make him walk the plankton for that.
Shh, these puns are a seacret.
When jellyfish act catty, it’s only because they’re jelly.
Speaking of being jelly, tunas were really miffed about the whole salmon-el.
Perchance, is this seat taken?
You should try to use a different type of bait. It may just be more e-fish-cient.
I have haddock with all of these fish puns!
We will have to keep this fish in for lobservation.
That is turtley cool.
When I grow up, I want to a bass-tro-physicist.
That is a load of pollocks.
You can’t expect a squid to answer a tough questions without inking about it first.
If you think of more puns, just let minnow!
That’s the thing about squids…they ink too much.
That fish is rick and famous, but she’s still Jenny from the haddock.
Never fall in love with a blowfish. You’ll always get repuffed.
When your fish boss is watching, you’d better look e-fish-ent.
The thing about calamari is you can never tell when it’s just squidding.
You’re blushing like a catfish that’s just seen the bottom of the ocean.
When a fish meets the love of their life, they say they’ve “met the gill of my dreams”.
When another fish tries to make you think you’re crayzy, tell them to stop bass-lighting.
Crayfish were offended by the publication of Eat Cray Love because they felt the lack of punctuation might send the wrong message.
You are a reel legend.
The first book of the fish bible is called Creation.
You should have known betta.
Surfing the net is great, unless, of course, you’re a fish.
Isn’t it a bit misleading to call thinly sliced raw beef carpaccio?
Lobsters would get along a lot better with the other shellfish if they weren’t always trying to lobster things up.
Sea-riously, these puns are fintastic!
Caviar been here before?
Salmon, call 911!
Please, stop with those fishcious rumors.
We whaley need to be serious now.
Everyone deserves salmon special.
It’s funny how fish never seem to know what you’re talking aboat.
The thing salmons don’t like about tunas is everything’s a big seacret.
We really need to shellfish if we are going to make some money today.
Never try to talk to a fish before they’ve caffinated.
Fish children should piscine and not heard.
These days they let pretty much anyone o-fish-iate at weddings, as long as they have a certificate from the net.
If you think of a betta pun, be sure to drop us a line.
When another fish tries to make you think you’re crayzy, tell them to stop bass-lighting.
Let minnow if you need something.
I just saw two fish get into a fight, but I didn’t want to get finvolved.
Hey sister, shoal sister.
If you’re going for roemance, then you’ll want to consider the caviar.
Something tastes funny. That’d be the clownfish.
Seems a bit fishy to me.
Cod I have some more please?
He really schooled you then.
I’d make him walk the plankton for that.
Finland has the best fish jokes. Sea, they’re reelly trying!
I fish upon a star.
Not bad, cod do better…
Daddy’s little fincess.
We should dolphinitely scale back on the fish puns.
Any fin is possible, just don’t trout yourself!
Ah guys, you’re krilling me now!
We, the jury, find this site gillty of too many fish puns!
What’s this seafood restaurant you’ve been herring all about?
It’s a great opportunaty!
Never trust unlicensed puns- always check they’re ofishal.
I feel great every day of the week, barramundi.
Sorry, my attempt at a joke was a pile of carp.
You’re not quite up to scale.
I’m fin love with you!
Water you doing tonight?
Fish the shoe fits.
Get trout of here!
I wouldn’t be cod dead in that!
I’m waiting for someone else to mussel in on this now.
Who will be the sole survivor?
I really believe that to the bottom of my sole.
Salmon had to say it.
This is a big issue a-monk fishermen.
You betta believe it.
If you cross me I’ll make you feel my wrasse!
Fishcious rumors.
I don’t know how to tuna violin.
DJ’s aren’t allowed to work at fish markets because they’re always dropping the bass.
Cod you pass me the salt?
Stop being so shellfish. I want some fish too.
That is absolutely gilliant!
Most fish will tell you they like their food cold, and their bait a little worm.
Some people don’t like fish puns, but they are kraken me up!
We’re swimming along nicely.
I would clam every mountain to be by your side.
I’m hooked!
KELP! I need kelp! Salmon please kelp me!
The tunaverse is truly an amazing place!
Cod I borrow you for a few minutes?
I’ll bait these puns can’t go on for much longer.
Crab we talk it over?
I can’t believe I met you! I’m your biggest fin!
All I sea are bassically cod awful puns!
Snapper out of it!
I’m stuck between a rock and a hard plaice now!
A good fish pun is good for the sole.
You’ve met your nemosis.
You’re clearly a Dab hand at this.
Anyone else want to rise to the bait?
I’ve got a bad eeling about this…
This is most sardinely the best fish pun list ever!
You better not, or you’ll feel my wrasse!
Stay away from him, he seems fishy!
Don’t listen to them. I think you’re fintastic!
We all just need to clam down now, I’m a bit shell shocked.
He should walk the plankons for bad fish puns like those!
License to krill.
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
I won’t be cod dead participating in this.
Turtley dude.
We whaley need to stop now!
Oh, you’re so so-fish-ticated!
Everyone deserves salmon special.
Good things come to those who bait.
That is enough fish puns, you need to tuna down.
Let’s all just clam down, shell we?!

Funny Fish Jokes

Ready for the best fish jokes you’ll go carpy about?! Here they come!

How do seahorses move so quickly? They scallop.
What did one shark say to the other? There’s somefin special about you.
Where does a whales go for braces? To the orca-dontist.
Which fish will swim faster? Not sure, let’s plaice a bait!
Who’s always employee of the month at the balloon factory? The blowfish.
Why did the two fish have to “take it outside”? They were about to have a roe.
How does a fish know when the party’s over? Well, it’s obvious when it’s finished.
What did the dentist say to the anxious shark? Jaws relax.
Why did the fisherman stop playing violin? Because he was all out of tuna.
What’s the best way for a fish to get to Canada? Follow the “northern pike”.
Why was the shark angry about leaving the restaurant early? Because he couldn’t even finish his meal.
When you need a handyman, which fish do you call? The mantis shrimp because he has his own hammer and he’s always happy to use it.
Where can yo fin the down-and-out calamari? On squid row.
Why don’t you ever see fish on Facebook? Because they are scared of the net!
Where do fish come from? Finland!
What’s the one fish that 40 percent of all Americans are afraid of? Clownfish.
Why did one fish slap the other? To snapper out of it.
Which fish has the worst haircut? The mullet.
Why did the guppy get bad grades? Because it was below sea level.
What do you call a fish without any eyes? A fsh.
What did the fish say when it hit a wall? Dam.
Why do most people dislike anchovies? Because they’re a little fishy.
How many tuna does it take to screw in a light bulb? They don’t. They call an electric eel.
Betta stop with the fish puns. I’m going to krill myself with laughter.
What is a fishes favorite game? Salmon says.
Why do some fish live at the bottom of the ocean? Because they dropped out of school.
Where do you put an argumentative fighting fish? It’s in de-beta-bowl.
What does the salmon always say at closing time? Time to lox up.
What is the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano but you can’t tuna fish.
What’s a fish’s favorite show? Tuna half men.
That fisherman is a very below-average boxer. All he can throw are hooks.
What’s the only right answer when a salmon asks you for a light? I didn’t know you smoked, salmon.
Why was the whale so sad? Because it was a blue whale.
Where do shrimp go when they are desperate for some cash? The prawn shop.
Why do oysters go to the gym? It’s good for mussel.
What country can every fish trace their roots back to? Finland.
If Marcia Brady were a fish, what would her most famous line be? Oh! Minnows!
How do you make a fish chuckle? Tell a whale of a tale.
What did the fish’s parents say when their guppy graduated from school? Out little gill is growing up.
What’s the clownfish’s biggest fear? That he’s not really all that finny.
Why isn’t the bachelor fish married? Because he has fintimacy issues.
What did the freshwater eel say to the salmon? I don’t sea your point.
What did the tuna say after the job interview? Thanks for the opportunaty.
How do you know when something is fishy in the state of Denmark? When Hamlet’s giving a speech that begins, “Tuna or not tuna, that is the question.”
What does the walleye say to let you know he didn’t appreciate your last remark? Walleye never been so insulted in my life.
Who make sure the ocean is clean and tidy? Mermaids.
Why is seafood healthy? It’s really good for your mussels.
Why did the fish break up with his gillfriend? He had no fin left to give.
What doesn’t the bass say when the tilefish seems confused? You’ve got that completely basswards.
When you visit your fish friends, what should you bring as a hospitality gift? Anything but crabs.
What do fish use when they are going deaf? A herring aid.
How do shellfish take photos? With a clamera.
What did the introverted snail wish for more than anything? That he could one day come out of his shell.
Why did the fish go on the bachelor? To meet the gill of his dreams.
How can you tell the blowfish has been working out? He gets to looking extremely puff.
Why is the cost of living so affordable for a bay scallop? They’re small, so they’re fin with living in an e-fish-ency.
Why is weighing a fish so simple? Because they come with their own scales.
When do fish stage an intervention for a friend? When they’re hit rockfish bottom.
Why did the fish get sick? It caught salmonella.
When is it time for a fish to go to an eye doctor? When they’re having trouble seaing.
How’s the calamari? Why, it’s ex-squid-sit, thank you.
What did you think of the series finale? Well, it wasn’t the bassed.
Who is the most famous fish spy? James Pond.
How do you reach out to a fish that you haven’t seen in a while? Just drop them a line!
What did the waiter say when the man complained his fish tasted funny? Did you or did you not order the clownfish?
What did the fish husband say to the fish wife when she asked him how she looked? You look fin honey, now stop fishing.
Where do fish sleep? In the riverbed.
A fish got caught by a fisherman. Now he’s in a boatload of trouble.
What’s it called when a fish can’t carry a tune? They’re tuna-deaf.
How can you tell the pufferfish had too much salt at dinner? He’s looking blowted.
What happens when a fish spends too much time on his computer? There’s a risk of carpal tunnel.
How do you get an octopus to giggle? Ten-tickles.
What did one fish lawyer say to the other? My client’s going to need a minnow to mullet over.
Where do shrimp go for cash in a pinch? To the prawn shop.
Why don’t fish like social media? Because of all the trawls.
Have you heard the fisherman’s anthem? Oh say can you sea by the dolphin fish bite…
What does telephone solicitor fish say when the person they’re calling picks up the phone? Cod I have a moment of your time?
Why do fish try to stay on the good side of their monarch? Well, otherwise they’d be royally scrod.
What did one fatty tuna say to the other? We’re in this together, toro and toro.
What does the fish say when it’s had it “up to here”? That was the last craw.
Why does it seem like there are never any job openings at the fish company? They’re scaling back.
What is a fish’s favorite pick up line? Your plaice, or mine?
What’s the fastest transportation in the ocean? A seahorse.
Who is the silliest of all fish? A dumb bass.
What is a fish’s worst day of the week? Fry day.
Did you hear about the newlywed goldfish? They are golden and swimming along nicely.
How much money does Gill Gates have? A gillion dollars.
What does the great white shark wear under his kill-t? Nothing because once he’s an adult, he’s no longer focused on the bottom.
How do fish with difficulty hearing communicate? Piscine language.
Did you hear about the fight in that restaurant? Four fish were battered!
How dome fish are so good at charity work? They are good at findraising!
Who is your favorite actor? Leonardio DeCarpio.
How do mussels take photos? With clameras.
Why did the fisherman leave his job at Wall Street? Because the stock market took a dive.
Which fish go to heaven? Angelfish.
Why did the fish get bad grades? Because it was below sea level.
Why did the little boy not eat his sushi? Because it looked too fishy.
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a fish? One is a scum-sucking scavenger and the other is just a fish.
If a fish got the main role in a movie, what would it be called? A starfish.
How does a school of fish keep up to date about sea life? They listen to the current news.
Why did the woman make tons of fish-eye soup? Because it will sea her through the week.
What swims in the sea, carries a gun, and makes you an offer you can’t refuse? The Rodfather.
How do you tuna fish? Adjust their scales.
How do you keep a fish from smelling? Chop of its nose.
Why did the fish blush? Because he saw the boats bottom.
Why did the teenage fish get told off in school? Because he was talking on his shell phone.
What did the fish say to his gillfriend? Your plaice or mine?
Did you hear about the illiterate fisherman? He was lost at C.
What happens when you mix a fish and a banker? A loan shark.
How do you make an octopus laugh? Give it tentickles.
Where did Noah keep all of the fish? In the multi-story carp ark.
How do tuna fish? Adjust their scales.
Why should you never fight an octopus? Because he’s too well armed.
What did the fish say when his relationship started to flounder? Halibut we chat about it?
What’s another name for a smelly fish? A stink ray.
Who took the baby octopus for ransom? Squidnappers!
Do you call a shark with no eye? Fishually impaired.
Why did the fish get detention? Because he was being too shellfish.
Why do sharks live in saltwater? Because pepper makes them sneeze.
What does a fish wear to keep warm? A shoal!
Why is a fisherman so stingy? Because his work made him sell-fish.
What did the roe-mantic fisherman want? A gillfriend.
Why are fish so smart? They live in schools.
Why did the fish blush? Because the sea-weed!
Why do fish swim in schools? Because they can’t walk.
What fish travels 100mph? A motor pike.
What’s the laziest fish in the world? A kipper.
Why did the shopkeeper through the clams out? They were past their shell-by-date.
Why will fish never take responsibility? Because it’s always salmon else’s fault.
Why is it so easy to weigh a fish? Because they have their own scales.
What type of fish did the Russia Tsar request for dinner? Tsardines.
What type of instrument do fish love to play? A bass drum.
Where do fish store their money? In a river bank.
Why did the shark cross the road? To get to the other tide.
Where do fish sleep? In their water beds.
Why did the fish start a charity? He was reely good at findraising.
Why don’t fish go into business together? They are always sole traders.
What makes fish terrible journalists? They always spread hake news.
What did the fish take to work? A breefcase.
Why do fish always lose their court cases? They are always gillty.
What type of music is best to listen to while fishing? Something cathcy!
Where do fish astronauts go? Into trouter space.
What did the fish say when everyone left his party? Tanks for coming!
Why are they called sperm whales? Because seamen discovered them.
Why can’t fish have romantic relationships? They are scared of intima-sea.
Why are fish so lucky? They seize every opportunaty.
What did Dorothy the fish say? There’s no plaice like home.
Why do fish companies never work? They always have to scale back.
How do you keep a fish from smelling? Chop off its nose.
Why do fish not go to war? Because they are pacifishts.