235 Bread Puns And Jokes That Are Hilarious!

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Looking for the best bread puns and jokes? You’ve come to the right place. It’s unbreadable how much these will have you laughing!

Bread is the best! I love to bake bread, eat bread, and talk about bread. I LOVE all things bread!

I also love to laugh. So what’s better than laughing about bread?!

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Here are the best bread puns and jokes that are sure to yeast you breading for more!

A closeup of a crusty bread loaf with a few cut slices.

Bread Puns

This is the best list of bread puns you’ll find!

  1. Rye do you ask?
  2. Last but not yeast.
  3. It’s a shame that the bread puns are always so crumby.
  4. Another one bites the crust.
  5. Half-baked bread puns are the worst.
  6. Crumb hell or high water.
  7. Ryes and shine.
  8. Don’t go baking my heart.
  9. I’m not trying to butter you up, but I really do loaf you.
  10. People need bread because loaf makes the world go round.
  11. I could never baguette your birthday.
  12. They had a loaf-changing experience.
  13. A little birthday toast to you!
  14. He’s a bit kneady.
  15. I like my bread like I like my men…well toasted!
  16. Hope their Naan is okay!
  17. You’re the apple of my rye.
  18. How I got this photo is Naan of your business.
  19. I don’t give a crepe.
  20. That sour loaf kneads to be punished.
  21. That’s a no-grainer.
  22. Gosh, my sourdough starter is so knead.
  23. I’m on a roll.
  24. It’s scone to be a lot of fun!
  25. I hear sourdough is on the rise.
  26. I don’t want Naan of that.
  27. Ciabatta stay away from me.
  28. Stop loafing around!
  29. Don’t be so sour, dough.
  30. Batter safe then sorry.
  31. She’s raking in the dough.
  32. Hold on, I’ve had a grain-wave.
  33. Baking is a labor of loaf.
  34. I’ll mop the flour with you.
  35. The flour got in trouble, so his mama sent him to bread early.
  36. All you knead is loaf.
  37. A toast to butter days.
  38. Rise to the occasion!
  39. Together we rise!
  40. Not everything is black and wheat.
  41. Get a bread start!
  42. You bread my mind.
  43. Loafing you is easy cause you butterful.
  44. Have a loaf-ly day.
  45. I should stop loafing around.
  46. English muffins aren’t born, they’re bread.
  47. You’re the breadwinner!
  48. Wheatever, dude.
  49. I dough what I can.
  50. Be-loaf in yourself!
  51. Can you believe she loafed right in my face?
  52. Most Indian restaurants are Naan profit.
  53. You’re toast.
  54. Wheat it and weep.
  55. Ciabatta get outta here before I share anymore bread puns.
  56. You’re my butter half.
  57. Sourdough bread always to the occasion.
  58. What are you doughing right now?
  59. That sour loaf kneads to be punished.
  60. You deserve butter.
  61. Gotta work your buns off because you knead the dough.
  62. Bread is like the sun, it rises in the yeast.
  63. I’m a crepe.
  64. I’m a weird dough.
  65. What the heck am I doughing here?
  66. I donut belong here.
  67. The yeast is yet to crumb.
  68. I can baguette away with it!
  69. Bready, set, go!
  70. You’re my butter half.
  71. She was naan the wiser.
  72. Business at the bakery is on the rise.
  73. Don’t worry, you can crust me.
  74. I’m going to break down and rye.
  75. We’re on a knead to know basis.
  76. Loaf is a battlefield.
  77. I’m barely getting by as it is.
  78. I want you to now that I loaf you.
  79. You’re the apple of my rye.
  80. I’m mop the flour with you in a bread pun battle.
  81. Wheat be cute together.
  82. Why are you leaven so early?
  83. Rye don’t you bake me on a date?
  84. I’m gluten love with you!
  85. You oat to say you’re sorry.
  86. My loaf for you is rising.
  87. Let’s tie the bread knot already.
  88. Stop loafing around.
  89. Let’s get ready to crumble!
  90. You’re looking like a stud muffin today!
  91. Wheat it and weep.
  92. Ciabatta stay away from me.
  93. Don’t be so sour, dough.
  94. I don’t want naan of that.
  95. Come a grain?
  96. Butter safe than sorry, bun intended.
  97. Don’t be so kneady.
  98. Baguette out of my way!
  99. You’re no bun!
  100. Stop loafing around.
  101. Next time you need a loaf, challah at me!
  102. Don’t grain on my parade.
  103. Don’t worry, you can crust me.
  104. Wheat make great friends!
  105. I don’t need money. I’m on a flourly wage.
  106. Let’s breadstick together.
  107. Rye so serious?
  108. At yeast we have each other.
  109. Ciabatta say you’re sorry.
  110. I’m bready to have bun with you.
  111. I think you need your bread examined.
  112. Donut tempt me.
  113. Gotta risk it for the biscuit.
  114. I’m headed to mail a loaf of bread at the toast office.
  115. Baking is a labor of loaf.
A bird's eye view of a loaf of multi-grain bread cut into slices.

Bread Jokes

  1. This just in: A thief has been arrested for stealing sourdough. He was caught bread-handed.
  2. What happened after the baker set a new record for baking the most loaves? He became the breadwinner.
  3. What do you call 52 slices of toast? A deck of carbs.
  4. What series was the dinner roll binge-watching? Breaking Bread.
  5. Why did the hamburger bun and the hotdog roll break up? There wasn’t enough crust in their relationship.
  6. What’s better than a coffee break? Breaking bread.
  7. What is a baker’s favorite time of year? Yeaster.
  8. Patient: “Doctor, doctor, I feel like a sandwich.” Doctor: “You’d better go straight to bread.”
  9. What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek? Bready or not, here I crumb!
  10. My doctor advised me against eating burnt toast. I am black toast intolerant.
  11. A piece of toast is a lot like the sun. It rises in the yeast and set is in the waist.
  12. I went to the zoo and seen a baguette in a cage. The zoo told me it was bread in captivity.
  13. Due to the pandemic, the Indian bakery in my neighborhood is going through some tough times. They fired all Naan essential staff.
  14. Just got the perfect tool for making a good Indian flat bread. It’s a Naan stick pan.
  15. I’m headed to mail a loaf of bread at the toast office.
  16. What do you call a roll that loses weight? Flat bread.
  17. Why can’t the baker play the drums? He forgot the breadsticks.
  18. What are the best shoes to wear while eating bread? Loafers.
  19. Why did vampires leave the restaurant? Someone ordered garlic bread.
  20. I’d tell you the joke about some butter on a piece of bread, but you might spread it around.
  21. Why is she so happy baking bread? Because she is raking in the dough!
  22. Why were the loaves of bread angry? Because they are being made into a knuckle sandwich.
  23. Heard the one about the loaf of bread who was sad? He had a break down and rye, then he felt much butter.
  24. What do you call a rabbit who has spent too long in the sun? A hot cross bun-ny.
  25. Last week I saw a loaf in a cage at my local zoo. It was bread in captivity.
  26. Did you hear the one about the bakery that closed because everything went a-rye.
  27. Patient: “Doctor, doctor, I can’t stop eating bread.” Doctor: “You ba-guette some rest as soon as possible.”
  28. What did one bread lover say to the other? Before I break down and rye, I want you to know that I loaf you.
  29. How do yo make dog bread? Just use collie flour.
  30. What did mama bread say to her kids? It’s way past your bread time!
  31. Why did the loaf of bread break up with his girlfriend? The relationship was crumbling.
  32. What’s the only bin you’d throw something delicious into? A bread bin.
  33. Why is the meanest cowboy in the bakery? Clint Eastwood.
  34. Why doesn’t bread like warmer weather? Because it gets too toast-y.
  35. Did you hear about the baker’s lorry that spilled its load on the motorway? Police say to expect delays on the yeast-bound carriageway.
  36. What do you call a Tom Cruise movie with a hamburger in it? Top Bun.
  37. Why type of hotel does a baker stay in when on vacation? A B&B (Bread & Breakfast).
  38. What’s the true identity of Greek Spider-Man? Pita Parker.
  39. Italian white bread is Santa’s favorite because as the song goes, “Ciabatta watch out, Ciabatta not cry, Ciabatta not pout.”
  40. What kind of bread is served in Heaven? Ciabatta? Focaccia? Soudrough? Actually it’s Naan of the above.
  41. Why did Ghandi hate flatbread? Because he practiced Naan-violence.
  42. If you order pita brea twice…Does that make it repeat bread?
  43. What do you call a bagel that can fly? A plain bagel.
  44. Who is a bagel’s favorite rapper? Toast Malone.
  45. If a baker assaults somebody with a baguette. Can he be charged with assault with a breadly weapon?
  46. “Excuse me sir, you’re all out of the garlic naan bread.” “I don’t see the problem. It seems like a Naan-issue to me.”
  47. My friend cuts up his Indian bread to look like coins. That’s a bunch of Naan cents.
  48. Why did the flatbread become a clean comedian? He wanted to be Naan-offensive.
  49. The two slices of bread decided to leave the bakery. I heard they wanted to grow mold together.
  50. Next time you need a loaf, challah at me.
  51. Did you know that pilgrims baked bread on the May-Flour?
  52. What did the crouton say to the bag of flour? I wasn’t born yeast-erday!
  53. Why is the gluten-free boy afraid of the dark? He sees bread people.
  54. A bread baker’s bread factory burned down. Now his business is toast.
  55. What is the richest part of the bread? Elon Crust.
  56. Who are all the croutons crushing over? Bread Pitt.
  57. What actor plays the main character in the movie Breadpool? Rye-n Reynolds.
  58. What do you do after breaking bread? Just load around.
  59. Why is the baker in a bad mood? He woke up on the wrong side of the bread.
  60. What is a baker’s biggest fear? A loaf or death situation.
  61. What do you call a curious piece of toast? Wonder Bread.
  62. Why are the ends the least favorite slice of bread? Because they’re too upper crust.
  63. Why did margarine push butter? Because she was on a roll.
  64. What do you call a piece of dough that’s being a jerk? Crepe.
  65. I don’t know why, but whenever I take a photo of my loaf of bread, it comes out grain-y.
  66. Why did the roll go to the doctors? It was feeling really crabby.
  67. What kind of bread does Dr. Who not like eating? Dalek bread.
  68. Why do bakers always work at the weekends? Because they knead the dough.
  69. Ciabatta study harder if she wants to pass her bakery exams.
  70. Two croissants are in the oven. One says, “It’s hot in here!” The other replies, “Wow, a talking croissant!”
  71. Radical bakers are always going against the whole-grain.
  72. What’s the most sophisticated kind of bread? The upper crust.
  73. Why was the chef surprised that any like her bread? She thought it was crumby.
  74. Why does bread look so bad in photographs? It was just too grainy.
  75. How does bread woo a lover? With lots of flours.
  76. Why was the bread actor so unhappy? She lost out on a juicy roll.
  77. Why did the man keep punching his doughy friend? To get a rise out of him!
  78. What did the public say when they invented the toaster? That’s the best thing since sliced bread.
  79. What did the bag of flour say when she bumped into the loaf of bread? Didn’t I see you yeast-erday?
  80. What does a loaf of bread say to a friend after doing them a favor? It’s the yeast I could do.
  81. What did a slice of bread say after brushing his teeth? I’m bready for bed.
  82. Why did the rolls hang out on a street corner? They were just loafing around.
  83. What does a French dominatrix say as she whacks you with a baguette? Welcome…to the world of le pain!
  84. What do you call a person who eats butter chicken only with Naan? A Naan-Vegetarian.
  85. I went to an Indian restaurant last night for some garlic bread. But they had Naan.
  86. I have a friend who only eats Indian bread…I think its bizarre but he just says he’s a Naan conformist.
  87. Did you hear about the women that choked to death on her meal at the Indian restaurant? Yeah, it’s not funny. It was someone’s Naan.
  88. When a loaf of bread grows mold, it’s time to break down and rye!
  89. Why is the baguette so romantic? Because it can’t stop loafing you.
  90. A baker gave me some sweetbread, it was pretty sourdough.
  91. How to get a raise at Panera Bread? Butter up to the boss.
  92. Why did everyone stare at the oven? Because they saw the hot cross buns.
  93. Why was the baker feeling anxious? Because he was in a loaf or death situation!
  94. What is the best way to get a rise in pay? Ask for more dough!
  95. What do you call sourdough that’s been bake by Shakespeare? Poet-rye.
  96. Why was the slice of bread upset with her husband? He told her she was being too kneady.
  97. Why did the agin bread roll retire? Her career was already toast.
  98. What did the piece of toast say when he discovered his fate? You butter be kidding me.
  99. Why wouldn’t the muffin go on a carbo-hi-date with the gingerbread man? She didn’t like bread-heads.
  100. What doe’s a woman say to a man who is proposing to her? I dough!
  101. What do you call a dog made entirely of baguettes? Pure bread.
  102. What do you call an Indian grandma? Naan.
  103. The flour got in trouble, so his mama sent him to bread early.
  104. Why does bread hate Southern summers? The weather is too toasty.
  105. What did one slice of bread say to another water a long day? Don’t worry, tomorrow will be butter.
  106. What is the baker’s favorite TV show? The Walking Bread!
  107. Why did the baker’s card get declined? He didn’t have enough dough!
  108. What does a loaf of bread say to a friend after doing them a favor? It was the yeast I could do.
  109. What did one slice of bread say to the other before the race? You’re toast!
  110. How do you spot a radical baker? They’re always going against the grain.
  111. What does a loaf of bread say when breaking up with his girlfriend? You deserve butter.
  112. What did mama bread say to her kids? It’s way past your bread time!
  113. Why did the agin loaf retire? His career was toast.
  114. What did the ham say to the cheese after their night together? You’re great in bread.
  115. Why was the loaf of bread upset? His plans kept going a rye.
  116. What did a young slice of bread say after brushing his teeth? I’m ready for bed.
  117. What did the slice of bread say two the cheese? You’re the best thing since me!Why did the baker file a sexual harassment claim? People kept commenting on his hot buns.
  118. What did the bread say to the cheese? So grilled to see you!
  119. English muffins aren’t born, they’re bread. A baker gave me some sweetbread, it was pretty sourdough.
  120. Why is the baker in a bad mood? He woke up on the wrong side of the bread.
Rolls on a cookies sheet, a rolling pin, dish towels, and a wisk.

How To Write Your Own Pun

Trying to write your own puns?

All you need to do is say a bread word like loaf, bread, yeast, crumb, or naan over and over a few times. Listen and try to think of other words they sound like.

Now, you can write a pun like, “The yeast is yet to crumb!”

Have fun writing amazing bread puns!

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Final Thoughts On Bread Puns:

I hope you like these puns and jokes as much as I do! Let me know what you think in the comments.

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