141 Funny Football Puns And Jokes For Your Team

Looking for funny football puns and jokes? These 141 will make you laugh so yard your jersey will fall off.

What’s my favorite season of the year you ask? FOOTBALL SEASON!

The football stadium, the bleachers, the concessions, the sound of the announcer, the crisp fall weather. It’s my favorite!

Note: This post may contain affiliate links, which means if you buy from my link I might make a small commission. This does not affect the price you pay. See the full affiliate disclosure here.

Don’t even get me started about Super Bowl Sunday.

Repeat after me, “What’s the best day?” Game day!

I wish it was football season all year round.

[cboxarea id="cbox-IVEtmKHDExiTjpDi"]

But since it’s not, I wrote the best puns for you to enjoy whenever you’d like.

Also, I’m pretty sure reading these funny jokes is the best way for your team to get another field goal.

A college football player is running with the ball. He is wearing a red jersey.

Table of Contents

Football Puns And Jokes

Here are some funny football jokes and puns for football! American football that is.

That’s the calm before the score.
Always stay fumble and kind.
I get a kick out of you!
The punter gets a kick out of life.
We like big punts and we cannot lie!
All the fans were quiet.
Scoring a touchdown is always a goal in the end zone.
My couch is kind of a big dill.
It’s a yard knock life for us.
The Yard Rock Cafe.
Why did the football team go to the bank? To get their quarterback!
I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
The football game was a delicate operation. It required a lot of quarterbacking.
Why are football stadiums always so cool? Because they’re full of fans!
I used to play football in a bakery, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
I stuck my football in my mouth.
The football team’s bus broke down, so they had to call a wide receiver.
Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback!
I wanted to make a football joke, but I was afraid it would get intercepted.
The football team was having a barbecue. They had some great tackles!
How do college football players stay cool during games? They stand next to their fans.
The football player was a great gardener. He always knew how to tackle weeds.
Why was the football team always so good at math? They knew how to use their heads!
I told my friend a football joke, but it was a bit of a fumble.
Why did the football team go to the bakery? To get some turnovers!
The football player was always so tired after games. He was constantly running back and forth.
I get a kick out of life!
Why do football players make bad detectives? They always have too many false starts.
The football player opened a bakery, but it was a bit of a knead for speed.
What’s a football player’s favorite candy? A touchdown!
The football team had a great chef. He always knew how to cook up a win.
The football team went to the theater, hoping to find a good play.
Why are there so many fans at football games? Because they keep the players cool.
I’m just kicking it!
Why was the football player such a good musician? He knew how to tackle the keys.
The football team was lost in the desert, so they called a wide receiver for help.
I tried to make a football pun, but it just didn’t have enough kick.
He’s a coach surfer.
The defensive backfield is like a no-fly zone for opposing receivers.
The quarterback’s pump fake was fool’s gold for the defense.
The offensive line’s protection was ironclad like an impenetrable fortress.
Why do football players make bad doctors? They’re always too focused on touchdowns.
The football player opened a gym, but it was a bit of a workout for him.
The football player was such a good dancer. He always had great footwork.
Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get some interest in the game.
The football team had a great chef. He always knew how to cook up a victory.
I’m in a relation-chip with my team.
The football team went to the theater, hoping to find a good quarterback.
Why do football players make bad doctors? They’re always too focused on the touchdown.
The football player opened a gym, but it was a bit of a workout for him.
What do you call a fishing hook that’s very sensitive? A defensive tackle.
Did you hear about the fans at the football game? They were having a ball!
They’re throwing a ball.
Did you hear about the chicken football fans? They were egging on their team.
I wanted to stop playing football, but I couldn’t quite kick it.
What chills in the stands? Fans.
The football player was such a good dancer. He always had great moves.
Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get some interest in the team.
I’m rushing to see you!
The football team went to the museum, but they couldn’t find the running back.
Why was the football player such a good musician? He knew how to handle the drum.
The football team had a great chef. He always knew how to cook up success.
Why do football players make bad doctors? They’re always too focused on scoring.
The football player opened a gym, but it was a bit of a workout for him.
The quarterback’s passes were so precise, they were touched by an angel.
Why was the tiny ghost Casper allowed to play football? Because he brought a little team spirit.
The running back’s speed is electrifying. He’s like a jolt of lightning on the field.
Why did the football team go to the zoo? To find a good wide receiver.
Let’s kick the weekend off!
Is that your lost possession?
The football team had a great chef. He always knew how to cook up a victory meal.
Are you ready to fumble?!
Why do football players make bad doctors? They’re always too focused on winning.
The football player opened a gym, but it was a bit of a workout for him.
Rush, I love you so much!
The team’s performance was so dominant. It was a gridiron dynasty.
The running back’s speed is turbo-charged leaving defenders in the dust.
I’m going to give it my best punt.
The football team had a great chef. He always knew how to cook up a winning recipe.
Why do football players make bad doctors? They’re always too focused on the goal line.
The football player opened a gym, but it was a bit of a workout for him.
Let’s come in on a punt and a prayer.
What do you call polite football players on a boat? Good sportsman ship.
The football player was such a good dancer. He always had great rhythm.
Oh snap!
Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get some interest in the team’s success.
Why was the football player such a good musician? He knew how to handle the trumpet.
The safety always guards the end zone like a safety net.
The punter’s kick was a hang-time masterpiece like a work of art in the air.
The fullback is a bulldozer, clearing the way for the running back.
Come kick it with us.
The football team had a great chef. He always knew how to cook up a championship meal.
What state do you go to to get a new uniform? New Jersey.
Why do football players make bad doctors? They’re always too focused on winning the game.
The football player opened a gym, but it was a bit of a workout for him.
Why did the football team go to the zoo? To find a good wide receiver.
The fans need to just chill.
Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get some interest in the team’s performance.
I’ll catch you later!
The football team went to the museum, but they couldn’t find the quarterback.
Why was the football player such a good musician? He knew how to handle the violin.
The football team had a great chef. He always knew how to cook up a winning dish.
Why do football players make bad doctors? They’re always too focused on getting touchdowns.
Let’s have a ball at the game.
The football player opened a gym, but it was a bit of a workout for him.
The football player was such a good dancer. He always had great footwork.
Welcome to the yard!
Why do football players make bad doctors? They’re always too focused on scoring points.
The football player opened a gym, but it was a bit of a workout for him.
Which Disney princess is the worst at football? Cinderella because she runs away from the ball.
We’re tackling this game one sack at a time.
Why do football players make bad doctors? They’re always too focused on winning the game.
What is a football player’s favorite holiday? Halloween, because they always wear face masks.
The football player opened a gym, but it was a bit of a workout for him.
The defensive end was a sack magician making quarterbacks disappear.
When the kicker’s on the field, it’s boot camp time for the football.
Tackle to you later!
Why isn’t football played in the jungle? Because there could be cheetahs.
The offensive coordinator knows how to play it forward with innovative strategies.
Why do football players make bad doctors? They’re always too focused on getting touchdowns.
Please pass the meat!
The football player opened a gym, but it was a bit of a workout for him.
It’s too hot in here. We need more fans!
The offensive line is so good, they should be called the block party.
The wide receiver has a magnetic personality. He attracts catches like a receiver magnet.
I just can’t kick my love of football.
Why do football players make bad doctors? They’re always too focused on scoring points.
Why did the Eagle’s football player get a penalty? Because of his persistent fowl play.
The football player opened a gym, but it was a bit of a workout for him.
Rush on over here!
What kind of insect stings football players? A fumble bee.
Tackle to me, tackle to me, tackle to me baby!
The tight end’s catch was so impressive. It could be called tightrope walking.
The offensive tackle has a reputation for being tough as steel.
All of a sudden there was a football game during the Beyonce concert.
Come over and we’ll have a ball.
The cornerback’s interception was purr-fect like a graceful feline on the prowl.
Why does the coach always bring shoelaces to the game? So he can tie it.
What a rush!
Why did the Eagles’ get a penalty? Because they have fowl mouths.
What kind of tea does a football referee drink? Penal-tea.

How To Write Your Own Puns

Do you want to write your own puns? It’s easy!

All you need to do is say a football word like punt, score, ball, or yard over and over a few times. Listen and try to think of other words they sound like.

Now, you can write a pun like “It’s a yard knock life for us!” Have fun writing amazing puns!

Want More?

A college football player is running with the ball. He is wearing a blue jersey.

Final Thoughts

So whether your team is the Dallas Cowboys, New York Jets, or the Detroit Lions, I hope you love my favorite football jokes and funny football puns as much as I do!

From the first football game to the last game, I hope you have the best time.

The best place to find the happiest people is to go to a tailgate party.

Did you find the perfect pun for the big game? Did your favorite team win?

Let me know what you think in the comments.