315 Funny Plant Puns And Jokes To Leaf You Smiling

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Looking for the best plant puns and jokes?! Then you’ve come to the right place. These puns will have everyone laughing!

I’m a succa for a good pun or joke! Whether you’re a botanist, gardener, or you just like to smell the roses, these puns and jokes will grow on you!

I know you’ll love these. They’re sure to keep you laughing. Get ready to grow crazy!

Note: This post may contain affiliate links, which means if you buy from my link I might make a small commission. This does not affect the price you pay. See the full affiliate disclosure here.

A close up of pink roses.

Plant Puns

  1. You can poppy-n anytime!
  2. Have you botany plants lately?
  3. Leaf me alone.
  4. It’s just one of rose things….
  5. Life would succ without you.
  6. Do you need some encourage-mint?
  7. What is carnation?
  8. I’m sexy and I grow it!
  9. Mum’s the word!
  10. We’re best buds forever.
  11. You grow girl!
  12. You’re looking sharp.
  13. He’s just a one-trick peony.
  14. Wood you be mine?
  15. Oh my gourd, you’re ridiculous.
  16. It’s party thyme.
  17. Iris you all the happiness in the world.
  18. She rose to the occasion.
  19. Put the petal to the metal.
  20. You’re my bam-boo.
  21. She has a violet streak.
  22. Time to turnip the volume.
  23. I’ ready to take it from “cacti” to “cactus”.
  24. OK, Bloomer!
  25. I’m kind of a big dill.
  26. Say also to my little friend.
  27. I’m just pollen your leg.
  28. If I had a trillium dollars.
  29. I’d never leaf you.
  30. I lilac you.
  31. I love you a lily more each day.
  32. A peony saved is a peony earned.
  33. Long thyme no see.
  34. I’m glad I pricked you.
  35. Don’t kale my vibe.
  36. Let’s take a leaf of faith.
  37. I’ve soiled myself.
  38. I’m se excited that I wet my plants.
  39. Can I have a peony for your thoughts?
  40. If you can’t beet ’em, join ’em.
  41. You’re unbeleafable.
  42. I’m a succa for puns.
  43. Thistle be the best day ever.
  44. Can’t touch this!
  45. I’m such a succa for a lovely new plant!
  46. You make my heart skip a beet.
  47. What in carnation?
  48. The plot thickens.
  49. Talk dirty to me.
  50. You prickle my fancy!
  51. I’m totally stuck on you.
  52. Chive never met anyone quite like you.
  53. Pretty fly for a cacti.
  54. Hope your birthday is on point.
  55. Good chives only.
  56. I’m sexy and I grow it.
  57. Cat-I + Cat-ME = Cat-US
  58. Take a leaf of faith!
  59. You’re unbeleafable!
  60. Did you see that dog peony on the tree?
  61. I hate when bay leaves.
  62. I wet my plants.
  63. Everybody romaine calm..
  64. Pretty fly for a cacti.
  65. Someone has been adding soil to my garden. The plot thickens.
  66. Take it or leaf it.
  67. Last bud not leaf.
  68. Aloe you vera much.
  69. Uno moss.
  70. Once and floral.
  71. You prickle my fancy.
  72. Let’s stick together.
  73. It’s just one of rose things.
  74. Don’t moss with me.
  75. Plant a kiss on me.
  76. Let me plant one on ya!
  77. Chive never met anyone quite like you.
  78. Aloe you vera much.
  79. Pot it like it’s hot.
  80. I’ll never leaf you!
  81. Let’s hang out every daisy.
  82. If the flower doesn’t like me, I don’t carrot all.
  83. Say aloe to my little friend.
  84. I’ll never desert you.
  85. I lilac you.
  86. Lettuce do our best.
  87. Here’s hoping your day doesn’t suc.
  88. It’s a little bit rad, but not totally rad. It’s only radish.
  89. I beg your garden?
  90. You’re stuck with me.
  91. I hate when bay leaves.
  92. Cleaning my cold frame is a pane in the glass.
  93. He just needed a kick in the bud.
  94. Pot it like it’s hot.
  95. Onions make me sad. A lot of people don’t realize that.
  96. Speak now or forever hold your peas.
  97. Cactus makes perfect.
  98. I’m rooting for you!
  99. She can be a bit violet when she’s mad.
  100. Not dead yet succa.
  101. Don’t be ranunculus.
  102. Sorry, I already have plants this weekend.
  103. Can you move any aster?
  104. I’m so glad we pricked each other.
  105. Pot it like it’s hot.
  106. Good chives only.
  107. Let’s have a little fern!
  108. You can’t plant greenery if you haven’t botany.
  109. One more thyme.
  110. Kale yeah!
  111. We make a prickly pear.
  112. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
  113. Chive loved you for so long.
  114. You grow girl!
  115. You’re so prickly when you wake up.
  116. Don’t kale my vibe.
  117. Thistle be a night to remember.
  118. Everyone romaine calm.
  119. Walking barefoot is good for the sole.
  120. What would you like to do with a trillium dollars?
  121. Fennel I see you again?
  122. Excuse me, I’ll be right bok.
  123. I love you a lily more every day.
  124. Good chives only.
  125. You make my spines tingle.
  126. Let’s stick together.
  127. You make my heart skip a beet.
  128. It’s party thyme.
  129. So fresh and so green.
  130. Thistle do.
  131. The raisin wined about how he couldn’t achieve graveness.
  132. I’m very frond of you.
  133. You’re stuck with me now.
  134. Oh my gourd, that is funny.
  135. I’m kind of a big dill.
  136. She’s untouchable.
  137. Succulents are plant-tastic.
  138. That goodness spring is finally here! The trees are re-leaved.
  139. If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.
  140. That’s a thorny issue.
  141. I love you from my head to-ma-toes.
  142. We’re mint to be.
  143. I feel hollow inside.
  144. Lilac the ability to control myself.
  145. She took stalk of her life.
  146. Sup succa.
  147. You’re an in-tree-guing person.
  148. I’m in quite a prickle.
  149. I’m rooting for you!
  150. Scarecrows are always garden their patch.
  151. Don’t stick your neck out.
  152. I can’t tree-fuse your offer.
  153. Orange you glad I made this list of plant puns!
Flowers in in a field at sunrise.

Plant Jokes

  1. What happened when a flower flushes? It turns rosy.
  2. What do you call an everyday potato? A common-tater.
  3. Why wouldn’t the plant date the other? They didn’t want no shrubs!
  4. What did the sunflower say to her BFF when she reached 5 feet tall? “You grow, girl!”
  5. How much room should you give fungi to grow? As mushroom as possible.
  6. What did the rose text her best bud? I’m all dress up and have nowhere to grow!
  7. What’s the fiercest type of flower? A dandelion.
  8. How do you fix a broken tomato? With tomato paste.
  9. What did the husband say when his wife told him he bought the wrong flowers? Oopsie daisy!
  10. What did the grape say when it was crushed? Nothing, but it let out a little wine.
  11. How do roses kiss? They plant one on the other’s cheek.
  12. I feel sorry for for wheelbarrows. They’re always getting pushed around.
  13. What did the boy plant say to his girlfriend? I’ll never leaf you.
  14. I got arrested at the Farmers Market. I was disturbing the peas.
  15. Why do trees have so many friends? They branch out.
  16. Can you pick up the groceries? I haven’t botany.
  17. How do plants practice self-care? They try to weed out unnecessary drama!
  18. The carrot has a football match tomorrow and everyone is rooting for it to win!
  19. How do you grow a flower that glows in the dark? With a light bulb.
  20. Plants in-tree-duce each other the first time they meet.
  21. Carrots have a hard time letting go of things. They are deeply rooted issues.
  22. How do plants practice self-care? They try to weed out unnecessary drama!
  23. What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business.
  24. My fear of roses is a thorny issue. I’m not sure what it stems from but I’m stuck with it.
  25. Why did the lettuce close its eyes? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  26. I started dating the girl across the street. Honestly, lawn-distance relationships aren’t that hard.
  27. What part of a flower has the most friends? The bud.
  28. How does that song go? Fern down for what!
  29. Did you hear the story about the flower who went on a date with another flower? It’s a budding romance!
  30. Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  31. Why was the weeping willow so sad? It watched a sappy movie.
  32. I killed a hundred weeds today! No, you only killed 98 weeds. Geez, sorry, I round-up.
  33. How did the tree make so many friends? It branched out.
  34. Why couldn’t the flower ride its bicycle to school? It lost its petals.
  35. What new plant did the gardener sow? Beets me!
  36. What did the flower tell the other flower after she told a joke? I was just pollen your leg!
  37. She didn’t date the gardener. He was too rough around the hedges.
  38. What did the watermelon say to the cantaloupe? You’re one in a melon.
  39. What did the farmer say to the crushed grapes? Stop wining.
  40. Why did the flower decide to try out Tinder? He was just looking for somebody to love.
  41. Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
  42. Where do saplings go to learn? Elementree school.
  43. What did the flower tell the taxi diver so he’d go faster? Floret!
  44. Do you have the thyme? I need to get somewhere around tree o’clock.
  45. Why did the apricot ask a prune to dinner? Because he couldn’t find a date.
  46. What did the flower decide to study in college? STEM.
  47. How does a flower whistle? By using its tulips.
  48. I’m almost certain there is something wrong with my cactus, but I just can’t put my finger on it!
  49. How are you doing zucchini? I’m vine, thanks for asking.
  50. Mountains aren’t just funny. They’re hill areas.
  51. How did the flower get over the fight she had with her sister? She rose above it.
  52. What do you do after you take a picture of a flower? You wait for it to photosynthesize.
  53. Why is everyone dancing? Because the farmer dropped a beet.
  54. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybee.
  55. Why did the gardener think her plant was sick? It was looking very green.
  56. How do flowers greet each other in the morning? Hey, bud! How’s it growing?!
  57. Why couldn’t the flower ride its bicycle to school? It lost its petals.
  58. Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.
  59. My neighbor says he is too afraid to plant an apple tree. I told him “Grow a pear!”
  60. Can you be-leaf how great all my succulent plants are doing?
  61. What garden plant is always cold? A chili.
  62. What dating app does a tree use? Timber.
  63. Why did the tree need to take a nap? For rest.
  64. Many gardeners suffer from hay fever. Isn’t that news a pollen?
  65. What did one plant say to another? What’s ta-ma-ta?
  66. Why was the tree stumped? It couldn’t get to the root of the problem.
  67. What did the flower ask the sad flower? Are you doing bouquet?
  68. How did the flower get a boat from one side of the lake to the other? It rose.
  69. How do trees get online? They just log in.
  70. Where do flowers go when they need to recharge after a long day? The power plant.
  71. What do plants eat when they’re kind of hungry but not that hungry? A light snack.
  72. Why did the cactus get in trouble at school? It couldn’t keep its plants to itself!
  73. What did one cactus say to the other cactus? You’re looking sharp!
  74. Garden centers are attempting to stem a fall in the sale of fresh flowers.
  75. What did the girl cactus say to the boy cactus? I’m so glad we pricked each other!
  76. The kales told the cabbage, “We love you a whole bunch.”
  77. What has no fingers but lots of rings? A tree.
  78. I started dating the girl across the street. Honestly, lawn-distance relationships aren’t that hard.
  79. Why are trees so tall and thing? They only eat light.
  80. Trees and plants have such a strong social network. They branch out for it pretty well.
  81. What makes some plants better at math than others? Square roots!
  82. What’s a nervous tree called? A sweaty palm.
  83. How did the flowers survive so long without water? They really rose to the occasion!
  84. What do you call a rose that runs on electricity? A power plant!
  85. Why do trees have so many friends? They branch out.
  86. How do you grow a flower that glows in the dark? With a light build.
  87. Why did the tomato blush? Because he saw the salad dressing!
  88. How do trees get on Instagram? They log in.
  89. What do you call a salad leaf that constantly goes to the gym? Shredded lettuce!
  90. I was worried that the plants were fake, but they weren’t. That’s a real leaf!
  91. What tree will fit in your hand? A palm tree.
  92. What would an MTV show about a plant be called? A Day in the Leaf.
  93. How do plants keep things under control? They weed out unnecessary drama and ask troublemakers to leaf.
  94. Can I sleep over at your house? I don’t need mushroom.
  95. What did the flower tell the other flower after she told a joke? “I was just pollen your leg!”
  96. What did the mama lettuce tell her little ones when it started to storm? Everyone needs to romaine calm.
  97. What did the Canadian tree say to the American? I’m from Montreeal.
  98. How does a plant answer the phone? Aloe?
  99. What do you do after you take a picture of a flower? You wait for it to photosynthesize.
  100. What did the succulent learn in math class? How to do square roots!
  101. Plants are the best companions and friends to have. They always end up rooting for each other.
  102. How do you clone a plant? Stem cells.
  103. Why do plants go to therapy? To get to the root of their problems!
  104. What did the plant tell the DJ? Turnip the volume.
  105. The onions said to all other plants in the garden, “I love you with all my head tomatoes.”
  106. Why did the flower decide to try out Tinder? He was just looking for somebody to love.
  107. Why did the cabbage win the track race at school? Because it was ahead.
  108. What is the highest number that a plant can count to? Tree.
  109. Why can’t you iron a four leaf clover? Because you shouldn’t press you luck!
  110. What song does a gardener know all the words to? Lettuce Be.
  111. What flowers should you never give as gifts? Cauliflowers.
  112. My leaf blower doesn’t work. It just sucks!
  113. Why are trees so tall and thin? They only eat light.
  114. How did the gardener know his herbs were fully grown? It was just about thyme!
  115. What garden plant is always cold? A chili.
  116. My wife complained that I never buy her flowers. I didn’t even know she sold flowers.
  117. What’s the laziest plant? The ZZ plant!
  118. It’s just not worth it to argue with a cactus…they have too many great points!
  119. What kind of garden does a baker usually have? A flour garden.
  120. What do you call the argument between two vegans? A plant-based beef.
  121. Why didn’t the flower get to go out on a second date? He was a garden variety.
  122. How do succulents confess their feelings? “Aloe you vera much!”
  123. What’s the saddest plant? A weeping widow!
  124. What did the watermelon say to his crush? You’re one in a melon!
  125. When the plants go to a party, other plants end up kale-ing their vibe.
  126. What did one plant lady say to another plant lady? Botany plants lately?
  127. How did the tree ask out his crush? He said, “Wood you be mine?”
  128. How do roses kiss? They plant one on the other’s cheek.
  129. What did the pirate call his vegetable patch? His garrrrgh-den.
  130. What do you call the leftover bits of lettuce at the bottom of your salad bowl? The last romaines.
  131. Do you have the thyme? I need to get somewhere around tree o’clock.
  132. How do you identify a dogwood tree? By its bark.
  133. What kind of a plant pictures get the most likes on social media? Thirst traps.
  134. What did the mama plant tell her kids? Don’t moss around!
  135. Why do trees have so many friends? They branch out.
  136. How is a flower similar to the letter A? A bee goes after it.
  137. What’s a frog’s favorite type of flower? Croakus!
  138. Where did the plant want to travel? All clover the world!
  139. What plant should you watch out for? An ambush!
  140. What do you say to the cacti storyteller? I’m on pins and needles.
  141. How do you get a plant drunk? You give it root beer.
  142. What’s the scariest plant? Bam-boo!
  143. Why did the gardener think her plant was sick? It was looking very green.
  144. What advice can you give a plant that’s having a hard day? Just green and bear it.
  145. Why does Yoda grow such pretty plants? He has green thumbs!
  146. What’s a cheerleading herb called? An encourage mint.
  147. What did the plant say to her sister when she came home? Long thyme no see.
  148. Where did the plant want to travel? All clover the world!
  149. What’s green and sings? Elvis Parsley.
  150. What flowers should you never give as gifts? Cauliflowers.
  151. When does a farmer usually dance? When he drops a beet.
  152. What did the big flower say to the little flower? What’s up, bud?!
  153. What kind of flowers bloom on your face? Tulips!
  154. Where do flowers recharge? At a power plant.
  155. What was the farmer super embarrassed yesterday? He wet his plants.
  156. Why didn’t the crops’ relationship work out? They were dating lawn-distance, so they weren’t really fielding it.
  157. What is a baby chick’s favorite type of plant? An egg-plant!
  158. What is small, red, and whispers? A hoarse radish!
  159. How does a farmer host a garden party? He turnips the beet.
  160. What is a baby chick’s favorite type of plant? An egg-plant!
  161. Can I sleep over at your house? I don’t need mushroom.
A leaf covered road in the mountains during the fall.

How To Write Your Own Pun

Trying to write your own puns?

All you need to do is say a plant word like tree, flower, leaf, cactus, succulent, or plant over and over a few times. Listen and try to think of other words they sound like.

Now, you can write a pun like, “I’m a succa for you!”

Have fun writing amazing plant puns!

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Final Thoughts

I hope you like these puns and jokes as much as I do! Let me know what you think in the comments.

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