225 Funny Witch Puns And Jokes That Are Bewitching

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Looking for the best witch puns? Here are the best puns and jokes you’ll find. This list will be-witch you!

Halloween is the most boo-tiful time of the year! Don’t you think?

It’s definitely my favorite. I love the crisp air, the leaves changing color, the candy, the costumes, trick-or-treaters, and so much more.

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I would be very happy if it was always October!

Every Halloween, I dress up as a witch. And what does every witch need besides a broomstick and a black cat?

Puns, of curse!

That’s why I’ve come up with the best list of puns. Everyone, from the Sanderson Sisters to Harry Potter, will love these puns and jokes.

I’ve also written posts about ghost puns, skeleton puns, bone puns, and skull puns.

This is a shadow of a witch.  The witch has short hair and she's touching her hat.

Witch Puns

I hope reading these puns is a en-witching experience!

  1. Violators will be toad.
  2. I’m the wand for you.
  3. That’s witchful thinking.
  4. Spell you later!
  5. Be careful what you witch for.
  6. Get the hex out of here.
  7. Spell the beans.
  8. Witch, please!
  9. I witch you were here.
  10. My wand and only.
  11. I spell children.
  12. He’s a late broomer.
  13. I’m so hexcited.
  14. Life’s a witch.
  15. Keep calm and always carry a wand.
  16. Fly off the handle.
  17. Come witch me.
  18. Wand step at a time.
  19. A witch is a dream your heart makes.
  20. Cookies and scream.
  21. You’re all a bunch of witches.
  22. She’s bat to the bone.
  23. You’re the wand that I want.
  24. Scratch a witch.
  25. I brew it all for you!
  26. No all who wander are lost.
  27. Witches love the BOOs.
  28. Spell yeah!
  29. Witch witch is witch?
  30. Just creepin’ things real.
  31. It’s time to go to sweep.
  32. Witch way to the Halloween party?
  33. Resting witch face.
  34. I drive stick.
  35. I hope it tastes as good as it spells.
  36. Let’s eat, drink, and be scary.
  37. Just bake it in the coven.
  38. I’m witching you a Happy Halloween!
  39. Son of a witch.
  40. A witchin’ good time.
  41. I want to bewitch you!
  42. Sweep dreams
  43. A witching well.
  44. Due curse.
  45. Not enough broom to swing a cat.
  46. The elephant in the broom.
  47. You’re the wand I want.
  48. Payback’s a witch.
  49. A broom with a view.
  50. It’s run its curse.
  51. Of curse!
  52. You’re the one that I wand.
  53. Spell it like it is.
  54. Witch me luck.
  55. Make a witch.
  56. There’s no more broom.
  57. It was a purrfect day.
  58. If the broom fits.
  59. Just hext me.
  60. Spells like heaven.
  61. I will make an offer you chant refuse.
  62. Witch and famous.
  63. Always wandering around.
  64. So brewtiful.
  65. He’s a tattle spell.
  66. For better or for warts.
  67. I’m ready for a wicked time.
  68. Dead men spell no spells.
  69. It spells good in here.
  70. Witch upon a star.
  71. Keen sense of spell.
  72. No charm, no foul.
  73. Let nature take its curse.
  74. My Christmas witch.
  75. Of curse you can.
  76. Witch u talkin’.
  77. Read the broom.
This is a photo of  a pink, black, two white, and four orange pumpkins.

Witch Jokes

Here are a bunch of witch jokes to use this spooky season!

  1. I’m a good witch. I don’t hex and tell.
  2. You must be a wizard, because whenever you’re around, I fall under your spell.
  3. Witch, please! I’m fabulous in my pointy hat.
  4. What do witches use to hold up their pants? A spell belt.
  5. If a witch became a pop star, she’d be a spellbinding singer.
  6. When the witch went to the party, she knew it was going to be a cauldron of fun.
  7. Witches prefer to live in the hexclusive neighborhoods.
  8. I’ve been reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down, like a witch on a broomstick.
  9. Why did the witch join a dating site? She wanted to find her perfect broommate.
  10. What is a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling.
  11. What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A sand witch.
  12. How do witches stay in shape? They do broom exercises.
  13. I went to a witch’s wedding, and it was a spellbinding ceremony.
  14. Why did the witch get kicked out of school? She couldn’t stop hexing her classmates.
  15. When a witch is angry, she throws a hextemper tantrum.
  16. What do you call a witch who is a great detective? A sleuth witch.
  17. Why do witches ride brooms? Vacuum cleaners are too heavy!
  18. How do witches communicate? With spell phones, of course.
  19. When a witch is sad, she writes her feelings in her spellar journal.
  20. Why don’t witches fight with fists? They prefer to cast spellbinding curses.
  21. Did you hear about the witch who won the lottery? She was spellbound by her good fortune.
  22. I was going to tell you a witch joke, but it’s hexcruciatingly bad.
  23. How do you get a witch to stop haunting you? Exspell her from your life.
  24. Why did the witch start a gardening club? She wanted to grow spellbound herbs.
  25. Did you hear about the witch who started a bakery? She makes spellicious treats.
  26. What’s a witch’s favorite board game? Hexagon.
  27. Who turns on a light it if gets too dark? The light’s witch.
  28. What’s a witch’s favorite band? Imagine Dragons.
  29. What is a witch’s favorite way to cook her food? She flies it.
  30. Why did the lost witch go to the fortune-teller? She needed to spellcheck her future.
  31. When a witch loses her cat, she puts up spellbinding posters.
  32. What do you call a witch’s garage? A spellarage.
  33. Why was the witch’s car so slow? It could only putter at a spellbound speed.
  34. How does a witch like her eggs? Spellboiled, of course!
  35. What kind of tea do witches drink? Spellling tea.
  36. Why did the witch get plastic surgery? Because she wanted to look good after warts.
  37. What sound does a witch’s car make? Broom.
  38. Why did the witch get rid of her broom? Because she couldn’t drive stick.
  39. What’s a witch’s favorite instrument? The spellophone.
  40. When a witch loses her broom, she has to sweep it under the rug.
  41. What do you call a witch who plays soccer? A spellker.
  42. How did the witch keep her hair in place? Spell spray. Scarespray when they’re out of spell spray.
  43. Where do witches search for information? Witchapedia.
  44. What does a nervous witch do? Twitch.
  45. Why do witches make great friends? They’re always there to spellp out their problems.
  46. How does a witch keep her skin so smooth? She uses spellphuric acid.
  47. What noise does a quick witch make? Broom broom!
  48. What do witches love to do at amusement parks? Ride the spelltacular roller coasters.
  49. How do witches get their mail delivered? By spellivery owls.
  50. When a witch becomes a chef, her dishes are spellcious.
  51. How do witches listen to music? On broom boxes.
  52. What do witches say when they are surprised? I’ll be a broomstick!
  53. What did the give the wizard when he went to pay? A staff discount.
  54. Why do witches make terrible poker players? They can never hide their telltale signs.
  55. How did the witch pass her driving test? She spelled the examiner with her skills.
  56. When a witch is in a hurry, she spellts out her words quickly.
  57. What do you call a witch who lives in the desert? A sand sorceress.
  58. How do witches stay organized? They use spellendars.
  59. Did the witches win the playoff games? It was a clean sweep.
  60. What do you call a witch who lives on an island? A sandwitch.
  61. What do you call a witch who has the chicken pox? Itchy Witchy.
  62. Who is the wizard engaged to? His ghoulfriend.
  63. How does a witch write? In cursive.
  64. What happens to witches who break the rules at school? They get exspelled.
  65. What do you call an old witch? A late broomer.
  66. When a witch is happy, she dances the spellsa.
  67. How do you make a witch itch? You take away the letter W.
  68. Where is the witch coven? On a dead-end street.
  69. Why did the witch become an architect? She could spellvage old houses with her magic.
  70. How do witches tell time? With their witch watches, of curse!
  71. Why was the witch always on time for meetings? She had a spellendid sense of punctuality.
  72. What do witches like with their bagels? Scream cheese.
  73. What’s a witch’s favorite type of workout? Spellates.
  74. What is a witch’s favorite makeup? Mascara.
  75. How do witches stay up-to-date with the latest news? They read spellpapers.
  76. Why did the witch join a dance class? To learn the spelltango.
  77. What do witches say when they are unsure? I’m not quite spell informed.
  78. Why did the witch become a yoga instructor? She wanted to teach spellf discovery.
  79. How do witches organize their bookshelves? They use spellfabetical order.
  80. What do you call a witch who is a movie star? A spellebrity.
  81. When a witch gets sick, she visits the spellthcare clinic.
  82. Why did the witch become a therapist? She had a knack for spellf reflection.
  83. Why do witches make great storytellers? They’re masters of spellbinding tales.
  84. How did the witch become a comedian? She had a spellbinding sense of humor.
  85. How do witches stay fit? They ride their brooms during spellterval training.
  86. Why did the witch become a tailor? She could spellter and mend clothes with ease.
  87. How do witches style their hair? With spell on hairspray.
  88. What kind of jewelry do witches like to wear? Charm bracelets.
  89. How does a witch like her steak cooked? Spelltaneously on the grill.
  90. What do you call a witch who loves hiking? A spellunker.
  91. Why did the little witch become a musician? She could spellody beautifully.
  92. What do witches do when they have a difficult choice to make? They spellve it over.
  93. Why don’t witches pass gas? Because they cast smells.
  94. Why do witches avoid going to the beach? They’re afraid of getting spellttered in the sand.
  95. What’s a witch’s favorite kind of ice cream? Cookies and scream.
  96. How does a witch take her coffee? Spellped with a dash of magic.
  97. What do you call a witch who loves to bake? A spell chef.
  98. Why did the witch become a painter? She could spellustrate the most magical scenes.
  99. What does a witch always get when they’re at a hotel? Broom service.
  100. What do witches say when they make a mistake? I spellologize.
  101. Why did the witch become a writer? She had a spellbinding way with words.
  102. What’s a witch’s favorite fruit? Spellons.
  103. Why did the witch lose her way? Her hat pointed her in the wrong direction.
  104. When a wicked witch is sleepy, she casts spellbinding dreams.
  105. Why do witches make great detectives? They can always spellve a mystery.
  106. What do you call a witch’s pet turtle? A spellow creature.
  107. What’s a witch’s favorite ride? The scary-go-round.
  108. Why did the witch become an architect? She had an eye for spellendid design.
  109. When a witch is feeling creative, she practices spelligraphy.
  110. Why did a witch go to the doctor? Because she had a dizzy spell.
  111. Why did the witch become a pilot? She loved the thrill of spelling through the skies.
  112. What do witches use to make music? A spellophone.
  113. Why is a witch’s potion good for you? Because it’s super newtricious.
  114. When a witch is happy, she has a spellebration.
  115. Why don’t witch’s wear regular hats? What’s the point?
  116. Why did the witch get a job as a bartender? She could mix spelltacular drinks.
  117. Why do witches like to decorate? Their favorite hobby is witchcraft.
  118. Why was the witch and her broom late? They over swept.
  119. Why do witches make excellent fashion designers? They have a spellendid sense of style.
  120. How do witches communicate long distances? With spellephone calls.
  121. What do you call a witch’s advice column? “Ask a “Spellpert.”
  122. Why was the witch kicked out of the coven? She couldn’t spell.
  123. When a witch is feeling creative, she practices spellpture.
  124. Why did the witch become a baker? She could spellebrate any occasion with delicious treats.
  125. Why is it so clean on Halloween? Because the witches sweep the sky.
  126. Why do witches make terrible detectives? They’re always spellecting the wrong suspects.
  127. Where do witches store their things? In a broom closet.
  128. Why did the witch become a swimmer? She could spellash through the water effortlessly.
  129. What’s a fast broomstick? A vroom stick.
  130. Why should you not make a witch mad? Because she will give you a cold spell.
  131. Why do witches need pencil sharpeners? To keep their hats pointed.
  132. When a witch is feeling anxious, she practices spellf-control.
  133. Why do witches make great painters? They can spellustrate fantastical scenes.
  134. What do witches always win? Spelling bee contests.
  135. Why do angry witches fly on broomsticks? So they can make a clean getaway.
  136. Where do you look for info about witches? Witchepedia.
  137. Who is a famous witch detective? Warlock Holmes.
  138. When a witch is feeling hungry, she cooks a spellicious meal.
  139. What’s a witch’s favorite dessert? Mice crispy treats.
  140. What do witches use to bake? An easy bake coven.
  141. Who is a witch’s favorite movie director? Steven Spellberg.
  142. Why did the witch’s team lose the baseball game? Because their bats flew away.
  143. What do you call a witch who’s a millionaire? A rich witch.
  144. Why did the witch fall over? She had a fainting spell.
This is a photo of a witch's hat outside on the grass surrounded by orange leaves.

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Final Thoughts

I hope these witch puns cast a spell of laughter upon you!

Did you like these funny witch jokes and witchy puns? Did these funny puns tickle your funny bone?

Let me know in the comments.

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