149 Funny Gardening Puns And Jokes To Help You Garden

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Looking for funny gardening puns and jokes? You will dig these good puns. They’ll definitely have you wetting your plants.

When I was in high school, people did fun things to ask each other to school dances.

I once designed a scavenger hunt for the boy I was asking. Another time, I had the school police officer tell the boy he was in trouble and was getting a ticket.

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My favorite one was having the principal come sing to the boy and ask him out for me. I was laughing so hard and he was bright red. It was amazing!

Let me tell you about the punniest time I asked someone to a school dance. I put carrots, pease, and lettuce all over the boy’s front porch. I made a sign that said, “Peas will you go to Sweethearts with me? If you carrot all, you’ll lettuce go together!”

I had so much fun coming up with ideas and going to the school dances.

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Anyways, I have always loved puns. Here are my favorite gardening puns and jokes. I hope you love them!

I’ve also written puns about plants, flowers, bugs, paint, ice, sound, and many more! You’ll love those as well.

This is a picture of a female gardener on her hands and knees planting vegetables.  She's wearing a cream button up shirt and overalls.

Gardening Puns

  1. Peas turnip the beet!
  2. Just keep calm and carrot on!
  3. Peas lettuce romaine calm!
  4. If you like it, dig it!
  5. Lettuce celebrate your birthday.
  6. Just beet it.
  7. I love how up beet she is.
  8. Oh, for beet’s sake.
  9. The beet grows on.
  10. Let’s dance to the beet in my garden.
  11. I’m so beet from gardening.
  12. He makes my heart skip a beet.
  13. I love you so bunch.
  14. My heart beets for you.
  15. We’re all rooting for you!
  16. It’s party thyme!
  17. I always be-leaf in you.
  18. Peas to meet you!
  19. I love peas and quiet.
  20. I’m freezing from my head tomatoes!
  21. Kale yeah I will!
  22. You are one in a melon!
  23. Nothing beets gardening, does it?
  24. Oh, sweet chive of mine!
  25. Gardening grows on you.
  26. All gardeners branch out.
  27. Life’s just a garden. Dig it!
  28. He needs to grow up already.
  29. I wet my plants.
  30. Dill with it already.
  31. Peas give it a chance.
  32. Let’s do it one more thyme.
  33. Help me herb my enthusiasm please!
  34. Do you beleaf me?
  35. I beg your garden?
  36. Say that one more thyme.
  37. I’m down, but I’m not out.
  38. I love peas and quiet.
  39. Talk dirt to me.
  40. Good luck finding your inner peas.
  41. Be nice or leaf.
  42. Chive never met anyone in the world like you.
  43. He’s a late bloomer.
  44. I’m sexy and I grow it.
  45. Are you safe in the eyes of the lawn?
  46. Here grows nothing!
  47. Please leaf me alone.
  48. Gardeners always know dirt on everyone.
  49. The Garden of Weedin’.
  50. You make me want to sprout!
  51. Pro-seed with caution.
  52. With time, all things will grass.
  53. Let’s spread happeaness.
  54. I love to dig carrots.
  55. Thistle be the best day we’ve ever had!
  56. Let’s berry the hatchet.
  57. Long thyme no see friend.
  58. What’s your good seed for today?
  59. I’m all dressed up, but have no where to grow.
  60. You look absolutely radishing!
  61. Let’s just turf the net.
  62. They’ve lived all clover the world.
  63. You need to seed between the lines.
  64. Lettuce romaine friends.
  65. Please, don’t moss around.
  66. There’s never a dill moment around here.
  67. Remember to seed between the lines.
  68. There are ants in my plants!
  69. Don’t you think that’s a bit mulch?
  70. Always bay leaf in yourself.
  71. Thyme to go!
  72. Good chives only here.
  73. Thyme to work in the yard.
  74. Let’s watch a day in the leaf videos.
  75. It’s a one trick peony.
  76. What if bush comes to shove.
  77. All you really seed is love.
  78. This garden has ex-seeded my expectations.
  79. That’s just fruit for thought.
  80. It’s just one of rose things.
  81. Have you done your good weed for the day?
  82. I just planted a few seeds.
  83. You grew on me.
  84. The plot thickens.
  85. Don’t stop the beets!
  86. Have you done your good seed for the day?
  87. Stop mossing around.
  88. That’s totally raddish!
  89. You look radishing tonight.
  90. Will you peas go to Prom with me?
  91. If you carrot all, you’ll go to Sweethearts with me.
  92. Lettuce go, peas!
  93. He’s kind of a big dill.
  94. Ain’t nobody got thyme for that!
  95. Eat, drink, and be very rosemary!
  96. Rosemary Christmas!
  97. We love each other and we were mint to be together.
This is a closeup of a hand holding two radishes.  There's a green background.

Gardening Jokes

  1. Why didn’t the man become a gardener? Because the celery wasn’t high enough.
  2. What superhero is a good gardener? The Hulk because he has a green thumb.
  3. What do you need to to attend your herb garden? More thyme.
  4. How does a gardener bring his horse to some water? With lots of carrots from his garden.
  5. What do gardeners have on their face? Tulips, but so does everyone else.
  6. What vegetables can you tie with? String beans.
  7. Why are there rainy days? So gardeners can get other things done besides work in their gardens.
  8. Why did the gardener like clearing leaves to make money? Because he was raking it in.
  9. How could you praise a great gardener? Tell them you like the way they water their plants.
  10. What did the garden nursery tell the man when he asked what to grow? They told him sage advice.
  11. What is a stolen yam called? A hot potato.
  12. Knock knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce come please!
  13. What does the garden use to brush his teeth? Bristle sprouts.
  14. How can you make a cherry puff? Chase it around the garden.
  15. What is a grumpy gardener called? A snap dragon.
  16. Did you know there was a master gardener who went crazy? He heard voices in his shed.
  17. Why does Elton John not like kale? Because he prefers Rocket Man.
  18. What pants do gardeners like? Pants that have turnips.
  19. What’s a gardener’s favorite socks to wear? Garden hose, of course!
  20. I couldn’t find the sun in my garden this morning, but then it dawned on me.
  21. Lots of plants died on me this year. I have mushroom to improve.
  22. What is it called when gardeners from other states are dating? Lawn-distance relationships.
  23. Why was the gardener so rich? Because he had a pansy scheme.
  24. How do you get better at gardening? Through trowel and error.
  25. What did the gardener say when they planted the wrong flowers? Oopsie daisy.
  26. What is a garden’s favorite book? War and Peas.
  27. Why did the gardener dig a hole and fill it with water? Because he mint well.
  28. What do you get when you put poison ivy and a four-leaf clover together? A rash of good luck.
  29. What do you tell a beautiful garden? You look poppy tonight.
  30. Why is the garden not a good place to tell secrets? Because the corn has ears and the potatoes have eyes.
  31. What kind of tree did the gardener plant when she was feeling sour? A lemon tree.
  32. What did the doctor tell the gardener? I’m listening to your heartbeet.
  33. Why was the gardener having trouble growing anything? He hadn’t botany plants.
  34. What is a gardener’s favorite drink? Root beer.
  35. What Beetles song does every gardener like? Lettuce Be.
  36. How do gardeners find time for their garden? It’s next to the basil.
  37. What garden plant whispers and is red? A hoarse radish.
  38. What never moves, but runs around a garden? A fence.
  39. Why do gardeners plant lots of bulbs? So the bugs can see where they’re going.
  40. What do you call a chicken-proof garden? Impeccable.
  41. What do gardeners and mathematicians eat on March 14th? Pumpkin Pi.
  42. Why was the carrot blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  43. What’s an uplifting herb? An encourage mint!
  44. What kind of headphones does a gardener wear? Beets.
  45. Why do mathematicians like gardens? Because of all the square roots.
  46. What’s someone who buys too many shrubberies? A hedgehog.
  47. What type of factory does the gardener work in? A power plant.
  48. What Harrison Ford film is a gardener’s favorite? Raiders of the Lost Bark.
  49. Where’s the best place to buy ferns for my garden party? I’m asking for my frond.
  50. What do you call two birds stuck together a garden? Velcrows.
  51. What rocks are in a garden shed? Shedimentary rocks.
  52. What is the perfect present to give a plant mom? A garden gnome.
This is a picture of three silver pots holding flowers.  One is a watering can.  There is also a basket holding flowers.  They are all outside on a deck.

How To Write Your Own Puns

Do you want to write your own puns? It’s easy!

All you need to do is say a gardening word like carrots, lettuce, corn, or peas over and over a few times. Listen and try to think of other words they sound like.

Now, you can write a pun like, “Peas to meet you!” Have fun writing amazing puns.

A woman is holding a basket full of veggies outside in her garden.  She is bent over.  She's wearing jeans and a rust colored top.  She has blonde hair.

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Final Thoughts:

I hope you like these funny gardening jokes and puns. Have a great day!

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