131 Best Toe Puns And Jokes That Are Hilarious!

Looking for the perfect list of toe puns and jokes? Look no further! This list will have you toe-tally laughing.

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Table of Contents

Toe Puns

Here are the best toe puns! They are guaranteed to make you smile.

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Being an elder brother, I feel like I am always toe-ing my younger brother around. So now is the time to make my way out!
It’s nice toe meet you!
My younger sister thought her TGIF shoes were an instruction manual that told her that the Toes Get In First.
My father has a friend from Spain with a rubber toe. Whenever he comes home, my mother says, “Your friend Roberto is home for dinner.”
Toe infinity and beyond!
The food it toe-rific!
The best way to keep yourself alert at all times is to join ballet because it is the only sport that keeps you on your toes throughout.
Welp I think I am just toe-ing you around now so I will make my way out.
My friend said he could make some of the best toe jokes; I looked at him and said they were toe-tally bad.
My mother locked the refrigerator and kept the key hooked on her toe. When I asked her why she said she was trying ‘keytoe’ diet.
My insurance company paid for my Range Rover to be towed. When I told this to my father, he asked, “Why are they paying for your big toe?” and we couldn’t stop laughing!
My sister loves to show off her big toe skills by using it to pick up things whilst sitting in one place. Whenever I pass on her favorite snack, I say, “Take our burrrr-i-toe!”
The easiest way to look at your toe is to look at a photoe.
The baby lost the toe-sucking competition, he tasted defeat and nothing else.
If there was a documentary on weird toes all around the world, we could call the show ‘The Toe-Files’.
The new shoes are toe-tally toe-riffic.
A breakfast table with a jug of milk on it is a fascinating thing. It has four legs and lacks toes.
The little toe did not like to talking to another toe that much. He was too into himself and his activities. The others called him in-toe-verted.
When toes went to Japan, visiting Toe-kyo was at the top of their list!
Toes love all Pokemon, but their favorite is definitely Toe-gepi.
The amateur toe played football against a professional and exclaimed “Help, I am toe-tally out of my league!”
My brother wanted to pick up the popcorn that he dropped in the movie theater. I couldn’t help but say, “That leg of your has been stretched a little toe much in my way brother!”
My vegetarian friend hurt her foot playing sport, I took her for some toe-fu to cheer her up!
When all my friends started to talk about their toenails, I politely asked them to change the toe-pic!
My father has been working on a foot-controlled keyboard, and today, he finally finished his first pro-toe-type.
A dinosaur with a sore toe and foot, should be called an Ankle-sore-us.
When I went to the doctor with a case of a bad toenail, he prescribed me loads of toe-ma-toe ketchup!
Toes love to snack, their favorite snack without a doubt are toerittos.
The poet of our town had really long feet and toes. He was such a Longfellow!
My one-legged friend lost all of his toes in a freak accident. Now we all have to call him Tony!
My Frequency always stubs his toe on the furniture. Every time he does so he reacts by saying, “Ouch, that Hertz.”
I stubbed my toe on solid gold. “Au Au Au” I cried out in pain!
A kangaroo stubbed his toe and was really angry about it, he was hopping like mad.
I had to call one of my friends to give my sincere con-toe-lenses for her broken toe.
The villainous toe had a pet bird of prey which he used as a weapon against other toes. It was his Toe-ma-hawk.
What does Loki say when he stubs his toe? Ow, that was Thor!
What kind of shoes do frogs wear? Open toad sandals!
What is a foot’s favorite chocolate? Toe-blerone!
What’s a toe’s least favorite vegetable? Bunions!
What does Michael Jackson saw when he stubs his toe? OW!

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Toe Jokes

Here are amazing toe jokes!

What do you call a man who got pricked on the toe by a bee? Toebee.
When my new girlfriend discovered I was missing a toe, she dumped me. She appears to be lac-toes intolerant.
What is the name of a Mexican with a rubber toe? Robertoe.
When his sister’s cell hopped on his toe, what did the cell say to her? Mitoesis.
What do astronauts get it athletes get athlete’s foot? Missile Toe.
Why do you need to walk past the medicine cupboard on tiptoe? There were sleeping pills in the cupboard.
What do you call it when you duplicate your enemy’s toe? Foetoesynthesis.
I broke my toenail yesterday. Wanna see phoTOES?!
Yo mama’s feet are so large that she needed a sock for each toe.
What do Clocks like to play? Tick Tock Toe.
Do you know about the TicTacToe Beetle? It has an XOskeleton.
My nana broke her toe by accident today. I guess now I have to TOE her back to the doctor in my toe truck!
What does Michael Jackson see when he stubs his toe? OW!
What do you refer to as a man with curly toe? CarliTOE.
My grandfather broke his toe today…Never mind, it was on his Toetruck.
Your hairline extends all the way to your toes.
You should never park you tow truck on the footpath. It’s gonna get toed!
What did the cat say when she hanged her toe? Meowwwwww!
What do you call Stephen Hawking’s toes on fire? Hot wheels.
I dropped a bottle of ketchup on my toes. There’s severe pain in my tomatoes.
What illness results from sucking on too many toes? Diafeetis.
What do you name the sexualization of toes? Feetish.
Why is it that LeBron James can’t stand on his toes? He’s got n support from his Cats.
In an accident, a friend of mine lost a toe. We’re no longer buddies since I’m lack toes intolerant.
What do you call a community dedicated to toe injuries? A Stubreddit.
Can’t wiggle your toe after a bad bump? Just give a call to a TOE truck.
Why do cows and goats possess hooves and not toes? Because they lack toes.
A whole carton of margarine accidentally fell on my toe a few weeks ago and it still hurts so badly. I can’t understand why it’s not butter.
My friend sliced the tip of an ant’s big toe off and affixed stilts to their legs. Now the ants are lack toes and taller ants.
I just bumped my toe on the corner of the sofa….COUCH!!!
I have a skin disease. It mostly affects my legs and feet, and dandruff shampoo helps to clear it out or at least soothe it. So, for my knees and toes, I guess you would say I use my head and shoulders.
What does a toe receive as a message from his grandpa on his birthday? I bestie my prayers for you.
I have a fetish for feet, but they must have all ten toes…because I’m lack toes intolerant.
When you’re a toe hammer…Every mischief is a toe nail.
It commonly makes me feel lively when I go first in a sport. Except for tic tac toe. Then I have to cross. Ugh!
A man lost his toe after dropping his kitchen knife onto his foot by accident. The doctor replaced his toe with a candy. Now, he has a tic tac toe.
I frolicked my Asian bro in Tic Tac Toe. My bad! It was a Thai.
What happens when people’s feel fall asleep? They went under comatoes.
A video of a man stubbing four of his toes was captured on camera. Needless to say, that was a very shaky FOOTage.
I don’t mind if my opponent gets tow squares in a row when we play Tic Tac Toe. But it’s at three that I draw the line.
What could be worse than a stubbed toe? Because hit by a car.
I informed my wife that her toe looked strange. “That’s a little callous,” she said.
When his sister slammed the door on his toe, what did the chromosome say? Ouch! What out for miTOEsis!
My friend inquired as to whether I suck all of my toes or just the big one. I said that I treat all toes equally, but that I didn’t want to get off on the wrong foot.
What does not have feet but has four legs? A table.
What’s the best way for an astronomer to trim his toenails? They’ll be eclipsed.
I used to despise my foot fungus, but it’s gradually beginning to grow on me.
I didn’t believe orthopedic shoes could help me, but I don stand corrected.
What do you call a dinosaur with stinky toes and feet? Ex-stinked.
Because it takes so long for a foot injury to heal, they are always very serious.
When they won the game, what did the foot say to the soccer ball? See? I toe-d you.
Which two Greek philosophers had the most attractive feet? Platoe and Sockrates.
Snoop Dogg pays for pedicures in what way? Cry-toe-currency.
Can’t move your toe becuase of a stub? No worries, simply call a toe truck.
Who always goes to bed with his shoes on? A horse.
My friend was in an accident and lost a toe. We’re no longer friends because I’m toe-tally a stranger now.
My toe just got dislocated due to a squabble between two morons. I guess it was a joint effort.
When you hurt your feet while driving, who to you call? A toe truck.
What is the name for a bee with a toe? Toebee.
What was the elephant’s reason for crossing the road? Because the chicken stepped on his toe.
I can totally touch my toes on some days, and only a foot away from others.
Why are the skeleton’s toes blue? He died as a result of kicking the bucket.
In an accident, my friend Tom lost both of his big toes. We not refer to his as…Tomatoes.
How is Neil deGrasse Tyson going to trim his toes tomorrow? Eclipse them.
Why did the Redgaurd’s toe hurt? His Hammerfell.
I could knock you on every piece of furniture in the house since you’re just like my big toe.
My daughter reminds me of the pinky toe on my right foot. She’s little, cute, and will most likely crash into my coffee table tonight.
Why are eye jokes considered to be more obscene than toe jokes? Because while toe jokes are corny, eye jokes are cornea.
When a microbe gives birth to a sister, what does it say? OW! My little sister, my toe sis.
What do you name toes that have a minty flavor? Tic Tac Toe!
What’s the connection between leggings and sand? Both of them became stuck in camel toe.
When a woman in the Army puts on her pants and they are lot fitted, what do you see? Camo toe.
What could be more annoying than discovering a worm in your apple? Cutting your toe.
With damaged hands, how did the math teacher instruct on geometry? She would just toe the lines.
Why was the toe reddened and scratchy? Because it had a stark situation of toensillitis!
What does an artist call his/her toes? “The person you know as I am because of them. They are my leg end!”
Anyone who considers onion are the only vegetable adept at making you cry has not once plummeted a turnip on a toe.
What is the favorite mint of a foot? Mentoes.
Ballet is the only sport that puts you on your toes, thus joining it is the ideal method to keep yourself attentive at all times.
My supervisor is quite obnoxious. I always feel like I’m tiptoeing around him.
What do you call a banana strewn shoe? A pair of slippers.
What does a foot eat first thing in the morning? Jam and toest.
Is there a hole in your shoes? No? So, how did you get your foot in the door?
What was it like making clown shoes for the shoemaker? It wasn’t a pair of tiny toes.
What is the preferred food of a toe? Shoeshi.
The gingerbread man visits the doctor and informs him that he has a serious toe injury. ” Have you tried icing it?” the doctor asks.
What’s the deal with your toe not being 12 inches long? Because it would then be a foot.
What does a thief put on his toes or feet? Sneakers.
What will you say to a toe when it goes for an interview? I bestoe my blessings to you.
I had just gotten supplies and was stocking them away the other night when I slipped a jar of mixed fruit jams on my big toe. That was a dope toe jam.
What has five toes but isn’t your foot? My foot.
My girlfriend says her toes are nice. I think she overlooked her legs.