175 Funny Death Puns And Jokes That You’ll Die Over!

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Looking for funny death puns and jokes? Here’s the best list that kids, teenagers, and adults will all love. Get ready to keel over laughing!

Death is no laughing matter. It’s actually the worst thing ever. I’m dead serious!

So, here are some funny death jokes, puns, and one liners to lighten the mood. But if they don’t, you’ll die laughing!

Note: This post may contain affiliate links, which means if you buy from my link I might make a small commission. This does not affect the price you pay. See the full affiliate disclosure here.

I’ve also written posts about the best bone puns and jokes, skull puns and jokes, and death puns and jokes. I hope you love them too!

The sun is shining on a woman smiling wearing a straw hat.

Funny Death Puns

You’ll live for these funny puns!

  1. This funeral is a grave affair.
  2. I have grave reservations for buying a funeral plot.
  3. Let’s put the fun back in funeral.
  4. My autocorrect just died, restaurant in piece.
  5. She was always known for killer puns.
  6. A will is a dead giveaway.
  7. He used to ring the church bell. Now he’s a dead ringer.
  8. I thought the viewing was last night, but when I got there, the place was dead.
  9. Being cremated is my last hope for a smokin’ hot body.
  10. I know I’m getting old. The other day I walked past a cemetery, and two guys attacked me with shovels.
  11. The cheap casket was a dead giveaway! I won it in a raffle.
  12. Give a man a plane ticket, and he flies for the day. Push him out of the plane at 3,000 feet, and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.
  13. He chose the road death traveled.
  14. He was dying to get into the funeral business.
  15. I suspected he was sick, and it was a dead giveaway when he signed his will.
  16. Corpses are lived about being dead.
  17. After seeing an ad for burial plots, I thought this was the last thing I needed.
  18. A professional skier will never die. They just go downhill.
  19. I came across an advertisement for burial plots, and it occurred to me that it was the last thing I needed.
  20. Twin monks who ring the church bells have died. They are now dead ringers.
  21. A cartoonist was found dead in his home. The details are sketchy.
  22. Thanks to our funeral director for being the last person to let us down.
  23. At my funeral, I want a lot of flowers. It’s on my bouquet list.
  24. The job of a mortician is to make you feel dead gorgeous.
  25. Autopsies are a dying practice.
  26. If you rush a decapitation, you’ll get a head of yourself.
  27. These funny death puns “Are all the grave!”
  28. A new printing of “The Necronomicon” would be a new dead-ition.
  29. The Underworld Newspaper contained too many typos, so they had to hire a new deaditor.
  30. It’s partially dead and partially undead. I loved the diechotomy.
  31. One executioner insisted upon burning victims at the stake. The other executioner insisted upon drowning their victims. They agreed on the result, but for their methods, they were die-ametrically opposed.
  32. When writing a letter to anyone in charge of a cemetery start with: “Tomb It May Concern.”
  33. I was driving along Cemetery Road when I came upon a Dead End sign.
  34. I just visited my late grandmother’s grave in the cemetery. When I went there, I found her dancing! It was quite the Plot Twist.
  35. Gravediggers are overweight due to their cemetery lifestyle.
  36. Getting to see the other side takes spirit.
  37. What is the way to the cemetery? Go straight and take the last rite.
  38. It remains to be seen if it’s an open casket.
  39. The crematorium has to urn our business.
  40. Speaking badly of the dead is a grave mistake.
  41. My music partner died while we were writing a new song. I guess he’s now decomposing.
  42. I thought about opening up a cemetery, but it seems like it would be a large undertaking.
  43. Get well soon because headstones are expensive!
  44. He was dying to participate in a green funeral, he just didn’t realize it would be his.
  45. Headstone: “Here Lies Mozart, Decomposing”.
  46. The priest perished in the church fire.
  47. I’m not a mourning person, so we need to schedule the funeral for the afternoon.
  48. Corpses aren’t very funny-they’re dead serious.
  49. He always had grave doubts about cemeteries.
  50. A photographer got lost in a snowstorm and died from overexposure to the elements.
  51. As an orchard grower, he enjoyed a fruitful life.
  52. Have you ever head that song Corpse-acabana by Bury Manilow?
  53. My skeleton puns are very humerus.
  54. Exhuming a corpse is very undignified behavior.
  55. Even though your partner died, they’ll always be your boo.
  56. I suspected he was sick, and it was a dead giveaway when he signed his will.
  57. Dad always thought the last thing he needed was a burial plot. He was right.
  58. The news reporter’s demise was an associated death.
  59. About a month before he died, my uncle had his back covered in lard. After that, he went downhill fast.
  60. The story was about a funeral home since I’m hoping to get in on the ground level.
  61. They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Well, not if it’s poisoned. Then the antidote becomes the most important.
  62. When I was at the funeral home, I saw a man coffin.
  63. My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.
  64. My friend said that if he went off a cliff, it would e on his own accord. It’s a good thing he drives a Civic.
  65. Never get on a funeral director’s bad side. Remember, cremation destroys 100% of DNA.
  66. I guess she finally urned her place in the family.
  67. When I walked through the cemetery, I came upon a grave robin.
  68. How do you like my killer puns?!
  69. It was a grave error when the man was buried in the wrong plot.
  70. The grave digger’s name was, ironically, Doug Grave.
  71. A funeral ship is referred to as a sea hearse.
  72. At the boss’ funeral, a disgruntled employee kneeled next to the coffin and whispered, “Who’s thinking outside the box now, Gary?”
  73. Funeral prices have skyrocketed due to the cost of living.
  74. I got lost going to a funeral and went straight through the intersection, forgetting to take the last rite.
  75. Thanks to our funeral director for being the last person to let us down.
  76. I’m dying to write my own brilliant pun.
  77. The story was about a funeral, but the plot had holes in it.
  78. A funeral director friend of mine bought a brand new Cadillac hearse. People are dying to take a ride in it.
  79. Today I passed my exams to be a funeral director! Shame it’s a dying trade.
  80. My obese parrot died. It was a real weight off of my shoulder.
  81. That telemarketer wanted me to buy a grave plot. That’s the last thing I need!
  82. Grave diggers often have trouble with coffin.
  83. When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
  84. Planning his funeral was a big undertaking.
  85. Ghosts are known to ride elevators for lifting their spirits.
  86. My friend convinced me to visit Karl Marx’s grave. It turns out it’s just a communist plot.
  87. I convey my thanks to the funeral director for not letting us down.
  88. Nothing lasts forever. Except embalming.
  89. It was a grave mistake when Mr. Jones was buried alive.
  90. A mortician’s job will be to make you feel as though you are dead gorgeous.
  91. Any day above ground is a good one.
  92. The only thing worse than “checking in” at a funeral is tagging the person in the coffin.
  93. When two zombies kissed, it was the kiss of death.
  94. Let’s party like a mortician and grab a cold one.
  95. I hate going to funerals because I’m not a mourning person.
  96. A grave digger always has one foot in the grave.
  97. Which style font was used on Wyat Earp’s tombstone? Sans sheriff.
  98. Old software engineers never die. They just log out.
  99. The Boubonic Plague is probably the most likely Black Death version that would hit any person with alcoholic abuse.
  100. When there’s a will, I want to be in it.
  101. If you live each day as though it were your last, then one fated day it will be.
  102. Recover soon since headstones happen to be costly.
  103. Walking through the cemetery at night can put you in grave danger.
  104. The sign at the cemetery states, “Do Not Pass”.
  105. Old people at weddings always poke me and say, “You’re next!” So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
  106. He did this for his own dead-ification.
  107. I just read the obituary for Hesra Maines.
  108. I can’t cut an onion because it makes me cry. My grandma died cutting an onion.
  109. While walking into the funeral house the ghoul asked whether your corpse is tender.
  110. If you have a zombie friend who’s a light eater and asks you to join them for coffee so they can “pick your brain…” Think twice.
A  man holding his glasses laughing out loud from hearing these funny death puns and jokes!

Death Jokes And Funny One Liners

You’ll die laughing at these funny jokes! I’ve even got some funeral jokes for you.

  1. What do you call a funeral ship? A sea hearse.
  2. Is Dr. Jack Kevorkian really a dieabetic?
  3. At his death bed, Achilles realized that they were going to lose the war and uttered his last words, “Defeet hurts.”
  4. Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen.
  5. I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.
  6. I’m not saying your perfume is too strong. I’m just saying the canary was alive before you got here.
  7. I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.
  8. My father expired when we were not ale to remember his blood type. We kept asking him his blood type, but he kept insisting that we “be positive.”
  9. The seven ages of man: spills, drills, thrills, bills, ills, pills, and wills.
  10. Auctioning a corpse? Now that’s morbid!
  11. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
  12. Why do ghosts ride the elevator? To lift their spirits.
  13. What do you with a dead chemist? Barium. (I guess you have to be into chemistry jokes.)
  14. Did you hear the news about the graveyard? There are people dying to get in there.
  15. What are ghosts’ favorite streets? Dead ends.
  16. For all my life, my dad kept messing with the ledge above the fireplace, lengthening it, shortening it, sanding it, painting it. But he died last week. After I got home from the funeral, I compulsively got my tools out and raised the fireplace ledge six inches higher. I guess you could say I’ve taken up his mantel.
  17. What do you call a coffee shop that used to be funeral directors? A decoffinated cafe!
  18. Why are there so many old people in church? They’re cramming for the final.
  19. Smallpox, the Spanish Flue, and the black death have already done the whole global pandemic thing…what covid is doing is just plaguerism.
  20. What is Mozart doing right now? Decomposing.
  21. A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree. “You can’t cut me down,” the tree complains. “I’m a talking tree!” The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue.”
  22. What’s the slogan for Zombie Skittles? Taste the Brainbow.
  23. Smoking will kill you…Bacon will kill you…But, smoking bacon will cure it.
  24. What does a liar do after he dies? He lies still.
  25. Do you know what the death rate around here is? One per person.
  26. What’s your favorite quote from Zombie Romeo and Juliet? “Zombie or not Zombie, that is the question.”
  27. What is your favorite Zombie Socrates quote? “Zombie is to do.”
  28. My obese parrot died. It was a real weight off of my shoulder.
  29. Morticians have been tagging people since before Facebook.
  30. I saw six men carrying a coffin in the cemetery. Each one of them was looking this way and that. I saw them again two hours later, and they were still carrying the coffin around the cemetery. I thought to myself, “They’ve lost the plot.”
  31. What is your favorite Zombie Sartre quote? “To do is Zombie.”
  32. There’s always something to be thankful for on Thanksgiving. Even if it’s just not being a turkey.
  33. Where do zombies like to go swimming? The Dead Sea.
  34. The number one cause of death is too many birthdays.
  35. What kind of fish can’t swim? A dead one.
  36. The doctor hands me the baby and tells me my wife didn’t make it. So I politely return the baby and ask for the one my wife made.
  37. No one has ever complained of a parachute not opening. Think about it.
  38. What do you say about someone who is “Preoccupied or obsessed with” the idea of the living dead? They have a Zombie in their bonnet.
  39. A guy with a stutter died in prison before he could finish his sentence.
  40. Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen.
  41. How do we know that Death is a man? He always comes quicker than expected.
  42. Hot do you describe a zombie who shows up every day, searching for rains and new zombie recruits? Dead-icated.
  43. Do Zombies love fresh brains? Of, corpse they do!
  44. What’s your favorite zombie Police song? Every Death You Take.
  45. At my job, I have 500 people under me. I’m a security guard at a cemetery.
  46. Where do you get honey in a cemetery? From a zombie!
  47. What are ghosts’ favorite streets? Dead ends.
  48. What’s a corpse’s favorite currency? Cryptocurrency.
  49. I’m sure my neighbor Nicholas is trying to poison me…You’re such an Arse, Nick.
  50. Why did they put a fence around the cemetery? People are dying to get in.
  51. I once picked up a Death Note on my way home from school…I didn’t want to lose it so I put my name on it just in case.
  52. What did the ghoul say when he walked into the funeral home? Is your corpse tender here?
  53. Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight…unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.
  54. Last night the Grim Reaper came for me, but I managed to beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with Death.
  55. I just saw two zombies on a date…and they say romance is dead.
  56. I’ll never forget my uncle’s last words on his death bed: “I am your Father.” A funny Star Wars joke, I hope!
  57. What’s zombie Orphan Annie’s favorite song? The sun will come out…Tomb-orrow!
  58. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
  59. Why couldn’t Cleopatra accept Mark Anthony’s death? She was the queen of denial.
  60. What’s the difference between a corpse and a shirt? One is a casualty and the other is a casual tee.
  61. Why are the eyes the last part of the body to stop working after death? They dilate.
  62. “I’m telling you one last time,” the doctor yelled at his nurse, “When you’re filling out a death certificate, you put the name of illness under the cause of death, not the name of the supervising physician!”
  63. Do you know the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket? “Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.”
  64. What do cannibals do at a wedding? Toast the bride and groom.
Four friends have their arms around each other laughing.

How To Write Your Own Pun

Trying to write your own puns?

All you need to do is say a death word like dead, dying, cold, or died over and over a few times. Listen and try to think of other words they sound like.

Now, you can write a pun like, “I’m dying to meet you!”

This is your last time to write amazing death puns!

Want More Laughs?

Final Thoughts On Funny Death Puns And Jokes:

I hope you like these puns and jokes as much as I do! Let me know what you think in the comments.

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